i wish you were dead
not because i hate you,
but because i love you so much.
it's too hard knowing that you're walking around all
breath-y and pulse-y and not decompose-y
and i can't have you,
i want your outside so match my insides.
i want them to be all still and rotting and
soon to be forgotten

i want to know that the reason you're not calling is
your fingers have turned to dust.
i fantasize that the reason you didn't think about me is
the worms have eaten your memory.
it's much kinder to say i can't have your heart
because it no longer bеats.
let me down gently
just diе already