[Verse 1]
I wish you'd known me when I was alive
I was a funny feller
The crowd would hoot and holler for more
I wore a drunk's red nose for applause
Oh yes I was a comical priest
"With a joke for the flock and a hand up your fleece"
Drooling the drink and the lipstick and greasepaint
Down the cardboard front of my dirty dog-collar

[Chorus]
Now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead
And I'm going on to meet my reward
I was scared, I was scared, I was scared, I was scared
He might have never heard God's comic

[Verse 2]
So there he was on a water-bed
Drinking a cola of a mystery brand
Reading an airport novelette
Listening to Andrew Lloyd-Webber's "Requiem"
He said, before it had really begun
"I prefer the one about my son
I've been wading through all this unbelievable junk
And wondering if I should have given the world to the monkeys"
[Chorus]
Now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead
And I'm going on to meet my reward
I was scared, I was scared, I was scared, I was scared
He might have never heard God's comic

[Bridge]
I'm going to take a little trip down Paradise's endless shores
They say that travel broadens the mind
Till you can't get your head out of doors

[Verse 3]
I'm sitting here on the top of the world
I hang around in the longest night
Until each beast has gone to bed and then I say
"God bless" and put out the light
While you lie in the dark, afraid to breathe
And you beg and you promise
Bargain and you plead
Sometimes you confuse me with Santa Claus
It's the big white beard I suppose
I'm going up to the pole, where you folks die of cold
I might be gone for a while if you need me

[Chorus]
Now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead
And you're all going on to meet your reward
Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared?
You might have never heard God's comic