[Intro]
I got how to start this shit

[Verse 1]
Yo, straight out the dungeons of suburban streets
I stay so deeply underground that no one’s heard of me
Murder the competition just through my emergence
Someone call a Goddamn ambulance, 'cause this an emergency
A regular night for you, you’re piteous with girls
'Cause you’re hideous, inert, and just an idiot with words
Like is the ‘Iliad’ an idiom, a pronoun or a verb?
Just shut the fuck up, you’re makin' me seriously berserk
I’m lyrically absurd, I’ve got a myriad of work
These sluts think I’m a badass, miscreant alert
I’ve got trillions of girls in their skimpy little skirts
On my sofa at four in the morning, watching Phineas and Ferb

[Interlude]
Because I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop
(Don't stop!) I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me

[Verse 2]
So I’m out at Starbucks, and I’m feeling like a mocha cap'
Now this blonde girl’s feeling me, so she approaches, and
I turned her down, 'cause I already had my quota met
She turns around all bummed out, and that’s when I notice that
The girl is wearing yoga pants, like, fuck, she’s wearing yoga pants
Changed my mind, yoga pants, I fucking love me yoga pants
Took her home and instantly she showed her breasts and moaned for sex
So I turned her over and fucked her on the sofa bed

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
Look, when I say I have a lot of sex, well- I’m lyin'
'Cause when I fuck while standin' up, my legs get tired
My ex doesn’t call back, she doesn’t text me either
'Cause when she asked me 'bout her cunt, I told her her best friend was tighter
I’m notorious for inappropriately launching boners
I dated this heartless chick, I’m glad I got to know her
She took so much from me, now that’s all I get off to
So I invite corpses over so I can be their organ donors
I creep the corpses out of the morgue and free them
I keep the corpus in a bucket list, I’m Morgan Freeman
I fuck the corpulent ones first, and more than frequent
My corporal narcolepsy tends to leave my mornings freakish
[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 4]
I used to watch a lot of porn, so I lack dopamine
So sexually, I’m darker than usual, like black Ovaltine
I’m the kind of guy you’d never quite catch smokin' weed
But jackin' off to horny horses fuckin' fatass roped-up teens
And I’m not jokin', please, my sexual potency
Is directly proportional to how gross my kind of porn can be
Set a precedent, 'cause I spent time on redtube.com
Call me Oedipus, 'cause now I'm only turned on by hot moms

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 5]
"You say 'bitch' and 'slut' so much, you start every line with 'em"
Bitch, it’s not my fault that so many things tend to rhyme with 'em
Critics say my lyrics are too sexually prompted, listen
I talk about whatever, why the fuck do you have a problem with ‘em?
I don’t give a shit whatever you’re fucking calling it
It’s 'joke rap', 'nerdcore', 'hipster shit', it’s fucking all of it
You’re false with it
You try to vaguely generalize, but you’re totally fucking wrong with it’
Your mistakes make you seem like you’re nervous and tense
I’m cleverly on a beat like I’m worth double the best
Inhale deep, like the words of my breath
I never sleep, 'cause slee—
[Outro]
Nah, man, honestly, man, I feel a little tired
I'm gonna take a little power nap, but I'll-
Wa- ca- give me a wake up call
'Cause I can't get up myself