[Verse 1: Rev Run]
Heard that they said that it's rainin' men
But the offer that I make, it won't be made again
You don't have to write, you don't have to call
It's a one-time offer for nothing at all
[Verse 2: DMC]
And there's no red tape, I don't make it hard
You don't need cash money or a Mastercard
I got easy terms and a layaway
But I need a quick decision and I need it today
[Chorus: Rev Run & DMC]
And if you find that you don't like my ways
Well, you can send me back in thirty days
[Verse 3: Rev Run]
Now, have you ever seen a man with a guarantee?
Well, you're lookin at him now 'cause the man is me
And if you don't believe all the things I say
I'm certified prime by the USDA
[Verse 4: Rev Run]
Now, the name that I use is DJ Run
And I'm a fast-talkin', slow-walkin', number one
And if you don't believe all the words I say
Then you're a natural-born fool who's got to be that way
[Verse 5: DMC & Rev Run]
I got a fifty rating and a fifty share
Every minute, every hour that I'm on the air
And when I come to town, I'm on a big marquee
It says DJ Run and me, DMC
[Chorus: Rev Run & DMC]
And if you find that you don't like my ways
Well, you can send me back in thirty days
[Verse 6: Rev Run]
A good job and lots of money might not be enough
And to satisfy your needs, it may be rough
But I'll take some care and treat you nice
And if it ain't sufficient once, I cold work it out twice
[Chorus: Rev Run & DMC]
And if you find that you don't like my ways
Well, you can send me back in thirty days
[Verse 7: Rev Run]
I'm gonna give you everything that you ever need
If you need a pint of blood, then I'll even bleed
If you're lookin' for a car, I will buy you two
And if you're lookin' for a pet, I'll buy a kangaroo
[Verse 8: DMC]
If you need a vacation, we can fly the world
And you'll know I'll never look at another girl
I'm a single-minded man and my mind is set
You're the lady of the '80s that I'm gonna get
[Chorus: Rev Run & DMC]
And if you find you don't like my ways
Well, you can send me back in thirty days