[Verse 1: Arin Hanson]
Listen up, girl, I know you a Nintendo fan
Got a Switch day one so you can hold it in your hand
Sync that Wi-Fi, know you got that speedy broadband
So you can download retro games from US and Japan
But don't tell no one I got the secrets straight from my dad
And they'll get mad at my dad if they know he's been bad
So listen close and remember all the news that I got
For the retro game drop
That's right, for Nintendo Online's drop
We got the game Squimble 2, it's the sequel to Squimble
Classic Mario and Zelda would just be too simple
Ronnie's Barnyard Tussle was an all-time fave
And also Shave the Cat and Adventures of Dave
Pillow Fight Simulator really raised the bar
So far you haven't experienced Banana Bazaar
Egg Maze, Gromplins and Pachinko de Mayo
Mattel's Barbie's Adventures in Toledo, Ohio

[Pre-Chorus: Arin Hanson]
And maybe you were thinkin' that these weren't the best
But just wait 'til you see the rest
I said wait 'til you see the rest
Of these games, go

[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
Grab your SD card
[Verse 2: Arin Hanson]
Got Diarrhea Warrior, and also more of your
Favorite games like Cuck Hunt and Mecha Lawyer
Regular Sword and Basketbunt '89
The video game version of I Saw The Sign
We're the luckiest gamers, you'll be happy to learn
That instead of Kirby's Adventures, we got Super Plerm
That's the Super Nintendo remake of a game called Plerm
It was a game for the classic NES called Plerm
If you're expecting greatness, you've come to the right place
'Cause instead of Galaga, you've got Shooty Gun Space
Also Asteroid, no relation, of course
Also Toad's Alimony, which I'll gladly endorse
Okay, to be honest, there's a game I've been hypin'
It's a Mario game, yeah, it's Mario Teaches Wipin'
That's not all, bitch, I haven't even gotten even started
'Cause tomorrow, they're releasing Smart Fella: He Felt Smarted

[Pre-Chorus: Arin Hanson]
And if you think that ain't enough to put your skills to the test
Wait 'til you see the rest
I said wait 'til you see the rest
Of these games go

[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
[Verse 3: Arin Hanson & Brian Wecht]
If I wasn't clear before, Super Plerm's all we got
If classic Plerm was what you were hoping to play, you sadly cannot
If you bought Nintendo Classic though, you can try Plerm
But that is only a demo for a limited term
Yoshi's Tax Shelter is a game for the ages
The pages and pages of 'torial that're needed to play this
Are made of a shade of a gray that you can't even read though
And so then Yoshi goes to prison and dies
Russian Surrender, Super Financial Lender
Dinosaurs vs. Ducks, Postal Service Defender
Also Squark, and the remake of Squark
I recommend playing Squark right before you play Squark
There's a lot of the plot that Squark just left out
So in order to understand just what Squark's all about
I also recommend logging on to the wiki for Squark
So you can get a real deep dive on Squark

[Pre-Chorus: Arin Hanson]
If after all these games, then you just aren't impressed
Sorry there's no more left
I said sorry there's no more left

[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
(Games go)