[Intro: Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan]
Hello?
Hey, Dan, we just got word from the network
Talking Video Games has been renewed for a new season and they want you to come back to host it
Absolutely not
It's taken me years to emotionally recover from the trauma that stupid show put me through
They'll pay you five million dollars
Hello, and welcome to Talking Video Games
Today's topic, as always, is games with simple plots
Please welcome our guest, James
Hi, I'm James from Silent Hill 2
I can tell you the plot of my gamеs, but it's not very simple
Is that okay?
Oh, god, yeah, I'm so rich now
Brian, givе James a beat

[Verse 1: Arin Hanson]
Well, okay, I'm James Sunderland
Let me tell you 'bout a little foggy wonderland
Called Silent Hill, good times and thrills
A nice place to chill if you don't mind getting killed
I was hangin' at the crib just livin' my life
When I got a lovely letter from my long-deceased wife
She died years ago from a happy fun illness
It was a good time filled with joy and chillness
I walked thirty miles to a welcoming cemetery
Met Angela who was there on the temporary
She had some nice thoughts going on in her head
Based on her father and her brother and her mom who were dead
[Chorus: Dan Avidan]
Normally, I'd be really freaked out by your weird positivity
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But mentally, I'm totally checked out, can't hear you through all this money
So much cash

[Verse 2: Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan]
I made more great friends in good mental shape
Like The Wizard of Oz, but in the middle of a hellscape
Like Nice Guy Eddie, a man of good sense
What happened to him?
I had to kill him in self-defense (Ah)
I also met Maria who was like my wife Mary
She reminded me so much of my little huckleberry
'Cept more sexually assertive and a little bit spiky
Unless she was just a manifestation of my tortured psyche
'Cause I might've killed my wife when she was weeping like a willow
Curled up like an armadillo when I smothered her with a pillow
But Maria didn't mind, her night turned out fine
She was stabbed by Pyramid Head to death two separate times

[Chorus: Dan Avidan]
Usually, I would worry and suggest that you seek some therapy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But I'm busy cleaning the seats of my new yacht, so just continue, please
With your warm fuzzy cyclical hell story
[Verse 3: Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan, Both]
Well, I guess you wanna know how this groovy tale ends
It's exactly how an old person smells, Depends
Sorry, just a little joke because this story tends
To put me in a good mood, but seriously, there are six fucking endings
Maybe I left town with a new adopted daughter
Or I drowned going down with my car in the water
Or I went with Maria where things could get sexual
Or I was actually abducted by some extraterrestrials
All I know is that the ending was extremely positive
And not just a coping psychological composite of
My mental collapse and crippling anxieties
Hey man, it's alright, why don't you let me buy you these
Piña coladas? The bartender's got us
Let's go down to my private beach and get some tostadas
Heck yeah

(Scream)

[Outro: Dan Avidan]
Here we go again