[Intro: Penn, Lola]
These are my Christmas jammies!
Aw, yeah! It's a Holder night!
2013 in review, video Christmas card part 2

[Chorus: Penn, Neighbor]
Dancing in the front yard night and day
And the neighbors walk by and this is what they say
“Are those Christmas jammies?”
They are Christmas jammies
Check it out, we just bought a Prius V
And it matches these perfectly
Wearing Chrismas jammies

[Verse 1: Penn]
Now for Lola, 2013 was full speed ahead
She now has a medal hanging over her bed
Because she ran a triathlon and somehow
She looked like she was having fun
She can count to a hundred in Chinese
And she can now read books about as thick as these
And if you wanna pay a visit to Lola’s room
You best get ready for a rainbow loom

[Chorus: Penn, Lola]
Looming in the room while shaking your thang
She can play the piano and can also sing
In my Christmas jammies!
My jammies fit me just right
But my daddy's are a little tight
[Verse 2: Penn, Penn Charles]
Penn Charles turning four
Safe to say he wears superhero shirts everyday
Is he smart in school? Kinda hard to tell
'Cause he just bats his eyes and all the teachers melt
And in case you didn’t see it, well you should, it’s pretty vital
But he dressed up like a Chief and shook his hips in a recital
And now Penn’s taking a hip hop class
That musical ability is growing fast, kick it!
Christmas jammies, I love you so much

[Chorus: Penn, Kim, Hipster]
We know they look ridiculous
That’s why no one will dance with us
We’re wearing Christmas jammies
How 'bout downtown? That’s where all the hipsters go
Drinking their IPA’s and staring at their phones
Look at my Christmas jammies
Hashtag Christmas jammies

[Verse 3: Penn, Kim]
What a year for Kim, for starters she met him
Got a part in Iron Man 3
And then she spent a whole day with RTJ
And the result right there, that’s me!
Even tougher to beat was her fitness feat
The Rally Iron Man 70.3
Even though she got punched in the face near the start of the race
She still finished in 6:40
[Chorus: Penn, Lola, Penn Charles]
Rolling in the car going 25
And pushing the stroller up Northfolk Drive
These are Christmas jammies
Look at my Christmas jammies
There’s room for child number 3
But I can’t, I just had a vasectomy
Recovering was easier in these Christmas jammies

[Verse 4: Kim]
Well I think that maybe we should end
With a multiple choice of what happened to Penn
Did he, A, run the same race as me?
B, have a tiny role in Iron Man 3? (I mean like, tiny. The role was so small. And short. It was just- I mean, you have to- we cannot blink.)
C, quiz the governor about his first term?
D, cut his knee while doing the worm?
E, take up crossfit and fall in love?
Well the answer is F, all of the above
But the biggest thing is what happens next
Next month, he’s stepping off the anchor desk
It’s the biggest decision of his life
He’s gonna quit his job and come work with his wife

[Chorus: Penn, Kim, Lola]
We’ll be making videos just like these
For politicians and companies
And we’ll do it in these jammies
In these Christmas jammies
He’s hoping that all goes well
But what will I do with all this gel?
Presents for our neighbors
In our Christmas jammies
[Outro: Penn]
Merry Christmas, we love you all
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Because, you know, I’ve always wanted my own internet