[Chorus]
Yeah, she made it to her meeting on time (I'm adulting)
I fertilized my grass with some lyme (I'm adulting)
She's folding 20 towels on the reg (I'm adulting)
I made a frittata with some eggs (I'm adulting)

[Verse 1]
Remember 20 years ago? I was a bro
Went out really late, ate raw cookie dough
She watched 20 TV shows, drank a bottle of Bordeaux
Felt fine the next day, went to a club 'til 4
20 years later, we don't frequent those facilities
We always chеck the weather whеn we plan our activities
We're sleepy at 8:30 and we water our backyard
Yeah, we are adulting so hard

[Chorus]
I clean between my toes in the shower (I'm adulting)
She sat in carpool for an hour (I'm adulting)
I put a bill in an envelope (I'm adulting)
She sliced up a whole cantaloupe (I'm adulting)

[Verse 2]
Don't make fun of my adulting, that's insulting
Got a job in consulting and it's resulting
In a paycheck that goes into a budget every day
And a little bit goes into my 410k
I'm gonna crack a beer and live the good life, yeah
Before I do it though, I gotta ask my wife, yeah
'Cause one of us has to drive tonight
Because it's our kid's school's big bingo night
[Chorus]
She's flossing her teeth, no doubt (I'm adulting)
I got a snore guard for my mouth (I'm adulting)
She puts on moisturizer and ointment (I'm adulting)
I made my own doctor's appointment (I'm adulting)

[Verse 3]
Hey, I got invited to a boys' trip in November
But I'd rather spend all of that money on a new blender
This is the most excited I have ever seen her
When she got her couch done by a professional cleaner
We gotta go now, we're going on a walk
Gonna leave our phones at home, gonna have a nice talk
And if you swerve by going too fast, we will mention
"Those young people, they never pay attention!"

[Chorus]
She put wallpaper on a dresser (I'm adulting)
She bought a new food processor (I'm adulting)
I'm making sure this table is stable (I'm adulting)
I think I'm paying too much for cable (I'm adulting)

[Outro]
Yeah, we out
If you need me, I'll be balancing my checkbook
I added up my hand ironically because my bank already does it electronically
And she'll be packing her own lunch for when she goes to work, yeah
She's saving dollar dollar bills, y'all (Dollar dollar bills, y'all, dollar dollar bills, y'all)
Adulting