[Verse 1]
(I) I am a germ freak
I follow them around and sanitize
All of the doorknobs, look how hard I try
(I) But then his cousin sneezed on him and Mommy cries
(Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh) It's inevitable

[Chorus]
I saw the signs
I opened up his mouth and saw the signs
How could he do this? Now our week is useless
This morning he was crying
But now it's 1 PM and he seems fine
And he's bouncing off the walls
Go get into the bed where you belong
Where do you belong?

[Verse 2]
(I) All of a sudden
Our home's a giant petri dish from hell
She got sick Wednesday, Daddy's now sick as well
(I) He looked on WebMD
And he's convinced that he has the Salmonella
(Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh) Suck it up, and then

[Chorus]
Mommy saw the signs
Her temperature read 101.9
Wants to lay down too, but she's not allowed to
If she reclines
The family would bug her the whole time
So she gets out of bed, even though she is the sickest one of all
The sickest one of all
[Chorus]
We saw the signs
And now we are confined to this cesspool for a whole week
'Cause we can't leave, and now
Work? We're behind
If we don't catch up, we'll have to resign
Why is it impossible to get them into the school where they belong?

[Outro]
(I saw the signs, I saw the si-igns) 101.9
(I saw the signs, I saw the si-igns) He just was crying
(I saw the signs, I saw the si-igns) Now he seems fine
(I saw the signs, I saw the si-igns) Pretty sure he's lying