[Cedric the Entertainer]
To, Joshua, give me a beat, son
[Round 1: Cedric the Entertainer]
Yo, check it
We starred on a show together, that's the reason
I got so much back pain, for carrying you all season
Outside you got swarmed by the paparazzi cameras
Then they realized you wasn't a Housewife of Atlanta
You came here actin' like you on Empire
But you're no Cookie, you a doughnut that's expired
I saw you on Scream Queens, a show about death
You a queen like Khaleesi, but the dragons is yo' breath
[Round 1: Niecy Nash]
Cedric the Entertainer, it makes sense you wear hats
'Cause me and you like yo' hairline, we go way back
I look at you and I think "what kind of man is this?"
You look like a pimp who only hustles sandwiches
I predict your big failure, ever since your start
Every time you lose a part, you must hate li'l Kevin Hart
You were the worst game show host, it was pathetic
Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Apparently not Cedric
[Round 2: Cedric the Entertainer]
Her first verse was both savage and mean
On Instagram, your followers is up to 15
People know me from a bunch of Barbershops
You'd be in sequels too, if your movies didn't flop
On Dancing with the Stars you tried to tango to a track
Your rhythm was so wack, I had to ask if you was black
But now you on Claws, I'll applaud you for the try
But you are on a show that's literally about watching paint dry
[Round 2: Niecy Nash]
Okay, Cedric can rap, honestly I'm surprised
'Cause like half the audience, I thought you already died
From the looks of it, your blood type is milkshake
Cedric should entertain some ideas on how to lose weight
And look how you dress, I'm not impressed
Your suits are double-breasted, and, well, so is your chest
You think this chocolate Oompa Loompa gon' stop me?
He more like the Burger King of Comedy
[Round 3: Cedric the Entertainer]
Check it, give it up for Niecy Nash, sure, she got jokes
She look like Oprah Winfrey, if Oprah was broke
Yeah, you got your little book on every bookcase
I read one page and threw that shit in the fireplace
People thought I was dead, that was hard to hear
But I'm alive and well, unlike your career
Standin' there, actin' like I'm beneath ya
If I'm the Burger King of Comedy, then you the Dairy Queen Latifah
Off the dome
[Round 3: Niecy Nash]
Cedric's so big, I'm surprised he has a spouse
You starred in Big Momma's House, what was you, the house?
I saw those diabetes commercials that you do
You didn't catch diabetes, bro, it caught you
I played his wife for five years and developed respect
For his real-life wife, not leaving his ass yet
Pick your own death, Cedric, whatever works for you
Chicken wings or Niecy Nash, it's gon' be one of the two
I could continue to slaughter you, 'cause my rhymes are just that bad
But if I'm honest, you the best TV husband this girl ever had