[Verse]
Just wanna go back to the days when
I wasn't depressed and my life wasn't shit
'Cause now all I do is just cry in my bed
'Cause I think about shit that I need to forget
When I wake up I reach straight for the shovel
I'm digging myself deeper into the pit
Life is a puzzle but the way that we live
Our life puts you in a place that you don't fit
I'm seeing shit that I wish that I couldn't
And I'm doing things that I wish that I wouldn't
My feelings are fucked, I don't know how to put it
I keep giving up and I know that I shouldn't
But as of recently I have no care
Don't waste my time, I ain't got none to spare
Said that you'd be there but now I'm like where?
I don't play by the rulеs because life isn't fair
Usеd to want friends, now I just want it to end
No longer wanna pretend
Thought I was making my way out the void
But the whole time I been falling back in
This shit is fucked, why am I never enough?
I can never call the bluff
Summer was straight, my depression was left
But school came right and now I feel stuck
Always inside of my bed
Sleeping on positive thoughts that are inside my head
Fighting with feelings that tear me apart
That are deep inside my heart instead
You feel alive while throwing out lies
But I speak the truth and I feel like I'm dead
I'll say my goodbyes and cut off my ties
Then open the bottle, OD on the meds
Why open up? I don't see why I should
Why try to be happy when I never could?
I rather fake my smile and say that I'm good
Than sayin' I'm fuckin' depressed, sick of the shit I been givin'
I bouta give up because honestly I'm fuckin' pressed
I'm gonna snap if you treat me the same as everyone else
And leave just like the rest
Warning you now not to fuck with the last of my feelings
'Cause I'll do some shit I'll regret
Tell me you care whenever you can
Because if you don't I'll just sit and forget
The way that I'm livin' my life
I'd honestly be better off playing Russian Roulette
I don't feel like I should try
I'm down in the dumps and I'm fucking upset
​unknxwn