[Intro Skit: George Khouri as DJ Khaled & Matt Smith as Chance the Rapper]
Chance, what's good?
What the? Man, are you eating right now?
Of course!
Do yourself the biggest favor
Let Justin know, let Wayne know, and let Quavo know
My house
We gon' celebrate all my product placements
Like this free app Yarn that lets you read other people's text messages
Oh, and by the way, if you guys don't come, I will eat you all!
Bless up!

[Intro: DJ Khaled & Mark Dohner as Butler]
I got breasts music!
Another one
You need salad!

[Pre-Chorus 1: Bart Baker as Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled & Butler]
Who's the laziest so-called "producer" with man tits that
Weighs a ton?
Khaled's the one
Only thing he's good at is stupid catchphrases like
Another one, yeah
Where's the bun, man?
Who doesn't rap, sing, or make beats because he's useless?
Who's only talent is stealing finished music
And then shouting and taking credit?
DJ Khaled (I got breasts music!)
He's the one, yeah
[Chorus 1: Justin Bieber]
Got famous from his Snapchats, being dumb
Drops N bombs, but he's not black, his IQ is 1

[Verse 1: Tavares Perkins as Quavo]
Ya, ya, Quavo!
I'm the only guy in Migos (Migos)
That anyone in the world knows (World knows)
I'm only on this because Future said no (Said no)
So did Travis Scott, Gucci Mane, and Mike Jones (Mike)
It's obvious that Khaled is a fame slut (Fame slut)
Without JB on this, it would've made 10 bucks (10 bucks)
He look like if Drake got inflated with a pump (pump)
He causes earthquakes when he jumps

[Pre-Chorus 2: Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled & Danielle Andrade as Video Girl]
Who's the most nonsensical, annoying man on Earth?
Khaled's the one, yeah
Another one
When he dances, he looks like an overweight bird
Khaled's the one (I'm wide!)
Another one
Damn, his entire life is a giant product placement
This video is just a blatant ad for vape pens
He Snapchatted his girl giving birth (That's messed up!)
DJ Khaled
[Chorus 2: Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled, Waiter & Chance the Rapper]
He's a living, breathing meme (Another one!)
Sir, you need to stop eating
I'll say when I'm done!
Okay, though

[Verse 2: Chance the Rapper]
Ooh!
I don't know why I did this mainstream song
Isn't my image supposed to be underground and raw?
This beat's so poppy, it could've been used by Elton John
Oh, no, here comes Wayne's verse, he sounds like an auto-tuned frog

[Verse 3: Darryl Love as Lil Wayne]
God forgive me
For doing another Khaled record (Tunechi!)
This like my 42nd, and it is really depressing
For the record, I rap 'bout the same dumb stuff on every record (Tunechi!)
And look like if a gremlin and Whoopi Goldberg gave childbirth
Oh, god

[Pre-Chorus 3: Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne, & Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, & Lil Wayne]
We're sick and tired of you getting so filthy rich from
Our talent
Yeah, you're a prick
We're the only reason why the song's such a big hit, you've
Done jack shit, we want justice (Yeah!)
Bless up, you know what, you're right, I'm gonna fix this
But before I do, all of you take these butter sticks
And rub them on your bodies, (Cocks Gun) DO IT!
OH, SHIT!
That's perfect, yeah
[Chorus 3: DJ Khaled]
Now lay down in the hot sun (Yum, yum, yum!)
Do not move 'til you're well done (Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!)
Another one

[Outro Skit: DJ Khaled]
Major meat alert!
I ate the meat, the meat, the meat
Of Chance, Quavo, Wayne, and JB!
I got breasts music!
Another one