Scene: New Year's Eve Party
[Chorky (voice over):]
It's funny how things happen. I didn't even want to go to that party that night. Little did I know my entire life was about to change

[Emcee:]
Yo yo yo party people! The talk dance is next. And the spotlight randomly falls on this dude! And also on this girl who reads with her fingers in the middle of a party!

[Lumpkinella:]
Eh?

[Chorky:]
No, hey guys. No you can't just grab people

[Lumpkinella:]
Huh?

[Emcee:]
Come on you'll like it

[Chorky:]
Listen, I don't know how to talk – go away!

[Emcee:]
I just ate a peanut

[Chorky:]
What? Why don't you say your age?
[Lumpkinella:]
Are you mocking me?

[Chorky:]
Yeah

[Lumpkinella:]
Okay why you gotta do that?

[Chorky:]
Oh you know... mm ha ha ha ha... Sounds like you got the wrong guy! Ah we could both play outside-

[Lumpkinella:]
Nuh uh!

[Chorky:]
Ooh hey!

[Lumpkinella:]
Oh gross you're so smiley!

[Chorky:]
But I don't mind, girl!

[Lumpkinella:]
Bah bah black sheep...
[Chorky:]
Ha ha! Nursery rhyme!

[Lumpkinella:]
Yeah...

[Chorky:]
Hey I love good nursery rhymes and I just happen to be here? Ohhh-kay!

[Lumpkinella:]
Yeah!

(Vocal noises)

[Chorky:]
You're so rad – did you bring a camera?

[Lumpkinella:]
I think, yeah

[Chorky:]
Ha ha ha ha ha! I need that camera so...

(Vocal noises)

[Chorky:]
Hey I missed you so much!
[Lumpkinella:]
Huh?

[Chorky:]
What?

{Lumpkinella:]
I can't really hear you. Huh?

[Chorky:]
Oh hey let's do this!

[Lumpkinella:]
I'm ready!

[Chorky:]
Alright!

[Lumpkinella:]
I thought I could feel a bug...

[Chorky:]
It isn't a bug. You just thought it was something, girl

[Lumpkinella:]
Oh I just thought it was something...

[Chorky:}
...coooooool? I'm Chorky

[Lumpkinella:]
Lumpkinella. Hey

[Chorky (voice over):]
Lumpkinella: it just sounded beautiful

Scene: Balcony outside party
[Chorky:]
Dude, I gotta tell you about my plant in the forest. You'll see it, right?

[Lumpkinella:]
Sure, I guess, just as long as you don't get crazy

[Chorky:]
What? You won't die!

[Lumpkinella:]
Are you sure?

[Chorky:]
For all I know you could be a horrible evil psycho!

[Lumpkinella:]
You're so rude!

[Chorky:]
Well, you know I have a fireman friend

{Chorky (voice over):]
When Lumpkinella laughed it felt like fireworks were going off. Also, fireworks were going off

(Fart sound)

{Chorky (voice over):]
Oh no! Maybe she wouldn't notice! She noticed

[Lumpkinella:]
Uhh-

[Chorky:]
I'm cool! I'm like a cool bomb. A water bomb. A-a-and I ate an egg... Oh no, dude, are you bored?

[Lumpkinella:]
Yeah!

[Chorky:]
Oh then I'll show you um – Check out one of these bowls that I found in the dollar fun section! So, um, what do you thi-

[Chorky (voice over):]
And just like that she was gone. I guess she wasn't interested in conveniently priced dishware. That was a pretty great bowl though

Scene: Classroom
[Chorky (voice over):]
By the time school started again, I had pretty much forgotten about her

[Chorky:]
I don't wanna grow up to be like a dinosaur 'cause everyone will try to scratch me

[Jason:]
Yeah, that probably won't happen

[Chorky:]
There you go, like a lot of people, just being judgy

[Chorky (voice over):]
Wait a minute. I recognize that hair

[Sharpay:]
Hi Chorky!

[Chorky:]
Hey

[Chorky (voice over):]
It couldn't be her, could it? Lumpkinella?

[Ms. Darbus:]
Listen up y'all. I need cheesey sandwiches and a gummy fruit, and do your eyes even see, Chorky?

[Chorky:]
Hmm?

[Ms. Darbus:]
Okay, well I got some phone chargers for the Irish students

[Chad:]
My lips are germy and salty 'cause weird bugs run behind Chorky

[Ms. Darbus:]
Hey guess what? Now you owe me fifteen bucks for your doo doo and shenanigans. Any questions? Ugh, this kid?

[Jason:]
Yeah, why are worms on me?

[Ms. Darbus:]
Whatever!

Scene: Hallway
[Chorky (voice over):]
My friends all congratulated me on my cool hallway stance while I waited outside the classroom. And then there she was

[Chorky:]
Nyah!

[Lumpkinella:]
Awkward!

[Chorky:]
I'm leaving!

[Lumpkinella:]
What do you mean?

[Chorky:]
Your hair is brown?

[Lumpkinella:]
Well it's probably 'cause of my transferral clickometer

[Chorky:]
Wait what's this transferral thing?

[Lumpkinella:]
Wait, are you a simpleton?

[Chorky:]
What? Oh. Uh well my friends think I'm just normal, um, but I'm really The Pretzel King. I'm quite a guy

[Richmond:]
Sup, Chorky

[Chorky:]
Hey, Richmond

[Lumpkinella:]
You should look behind you

[Chorky:]
Yeah, well I used to. But I'd see my friends and, um, I don't want to. I'm kinda feeling like macaroni a-

Scene: Another hallway
[Chorky:]
Oh, I like when they put glitter on these signs. I wanna do that

[Lumpkinella:]
I know, right? Glitter is so cool. I put fruit in a basket and it was dope

[Chorky:]
Gnyack gnyack! You should put it in a bathroom

[Sharpay:]
Which bathroom, Chorky? Oh, hey, new girl. I think you have a spoiled roach in your shoe

[Lumpkinella:]
No, I was going to take an old person to prison. Do you hear that? Wow! That's a baby sheep

[Sharpay:]
Chorky, I have a new friend now

[Chorky:]
I'm about to burp

[Sharpay:]
Oh, just like me!

(Chorky burps)

[Sharpay:]
Mm-hmm. I like burps. Mmm

[Chorky:]
Oh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm

[Sharpay:]
And loogies!

[Chorky:]
Too gross

[Sharpay:]
Yeah...

Scene: Gym
[Chorky:]
So you know, I talked to that new girl, and um, I was really weird around her

[Chad:]
How?

[Chorky:]
Oh, you know, feeling nauseous

[Chad:]
Chorky, I'm pretty sure you got a problem walking. You need a scooter

[Chorky:]
Not me

[Chad:]
You, buddy

[Chorky (voice over):]
Right then, there was only one thing that could make me feel better:

[Chorky:]
Here we go!

[All:]
Basketball, basketball, we love basketball!

[Chorky:]
It's the best game that we play every day!
It's my bouncy ball!

[All:]
It's your bouncy ball!

[Chorky:]
Yeah it's my bouncy ball!

[All:]
Pretty little basketball!

[Chorky (and All):]
Wow my feet are so raw, (raw feet!)
My ears are scared and the baby ostrich is cold
And now that makes you feel like you know karate. (Yes sensei!)
You're kicking your friend. (Don't kick him!)
Oh, why must I just – dance?
(Hey!) Yeah this is my dance here!

[All:]
In the gym, in the gym!

[Chorky:]
And this is my best dance!

[All:]
And I can do this now!

[Chorky:]
Now walk it around, do it, yeah!

[All:]
Na na na na hey!

[Chorky:]
I gotta clean my teeth and get some sleep!

[All:]
And then we take the shot!

Scene: Locker room
[Chorky (voice over):]
Once a week my coach would come to the locker room to try to convince me that he was an animal of some kind. Yeah, it got pretty old

[Coach:]
Now don't run away from me, okay?

[Chorky:]
I'm here

[Coach:]
Hey did I tell you I'm a rodent? Yeah, I'm one of them rodents without fur. You see my snout? Hey now, you look me in the eyes, kid, cause I wanna dump a junk pile on my face when I don't have to. You know what I'm saying?

[Chorky:]
Um yeah?

[Coach:]
Now see, you get it. Yep, good talk, Chorky

Scene: Science classroom
[Sharpay:]
Yo. Can I pinch your shrimps?

[Lumpkinella:]
Mm, awkward! Look my shrimps aren't around

[Sharpay:]
Seriously?

[Lumpkinella:]
Yep. Um hey

[Teacher:]
Well, what is it?

[Lumpkinella:]
Well I was just... um... It looks like you ate a 26-year old man

[Teacher:]
Mm-hmm. I did, you're right. Oh, and a wild boar

Scene: Auditorium
[Chorky (voice over):]
One thing people didn't know about me was that I had an invisible cat named Corville. He was from space. He'd been missing for a few days and I thought I had heard him in the auditorium

[Chorky:]
Corville? Are you in here?

[Lumpkinella:]
Hey!

[Chorky:]
Oh – hey!

[Lumpkinella:]
Looks like you're looking for something

[Chorky:]
Uh, no? Are you?

[Lumpkinella:]
No. I haven't lost anything. Though I'd like a bike pump

(Kelsey trips over. A miaow is heard.]

[Chorky:]
Corville! Hold on buddy! He's adorable. You tripped over Corville, he's my space cat. He's invisible. And now you know

[Kelsey:]
Uh huh...

[Chorky:]
Wanna see something real cool? Hand: I gave it to you so you could hold it. Oh, you're quite a special bear

[Kelsey:]
I'm not a bear

[Chorky:]
Oh yeah? How do you know? Think about this: can you play piano like the bear at the mall?

[Kelsey:]
Easy. Come on. But you gotta sing

[Chorky:]
That dog took my leaf
The cat took the seat
And the human arm was stapled on a pig

[Lumpkinella:]
The doll wears your clothes
But the goat wears your robe

[Both:]
I'm sure there were always rabbits inside me
I think your feet stank so much like corn
Wash your toes!
And I've never had someone gross me out like you do
Like a rotten tooth
And I've never had a dumb wart until you came along
Yeah, I owe that to you
And don't go get a big fork and fix the ceiling fan
Cause that could ruin the fork

(Vocal sounds)

[Chorky:]
Well, missed class now

[Ms. Darbus:]
Chorky! You have huge bangs, and you and your friend are gonna be in the talent show on Monday night. Work on your rhythm

[Chorky (voice over):]
And that's how I ended up in the talent show

[Chorky:]
Oh, great

Scene: Roof
[Chorky (voice over):}
I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something strange about Lumpkinella, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was because she – no, not that. Or maybe it was the way she – no, not that either. And then it hit me like a ton of pounds

Scene: Flashback to hallway
[Lumpkinella (in flashback):]
Well it's probably 'cause of my transferral clickometer... Transferral clickometer... clickometer... clickometer... clickometer...

Scene: Locker room
[Chorky (voice over):]
Oh, it had been right in front of my face this whole time! She'd probably just been waiting for me to figure it out

Scene: Hallway. Lumpkinella is reading a letter from Chorky
[Chorky (voice over):]
Dear Lumpkinella, I know you're a robot. And the secret's safe with me

Scene: Classroom
[Chorky (voice over):]
I'd never been very good with electronics, but this I could handle

Scene: Music classroom
[Lumpkinella:]
The horse head...

{Chorky:]
...is terrifying!

[Both:]
This could cause nightmares in the night!

[Lumpkinella:]
Clink-a-chockle-chocka-bee
This is good!

[Chorky:]
And I'm gonna be the sunshine duke
'Cause I'm making that weekend wish!

Scene: Auditorium
[Chorky (voice over):]
I couldn't decide if Lumpkinella was technically alive or not, but what I did know is that she made me feel more alive. And that's what really mattered

Scene: Canteen
[Chorky (voice over):]
I also knew that she was having a hard time adjusting to lunch at our school, which, to be honest, I could understand

[All:]
Let's go bang on furniture
And then for no reason
Everybody's gonna walk around the tables
And we stop – tummy ache!
And this and this and this and wheee
Then we point and yell at the wall!

[Martha:]
Y'all burping is my passion! I'm all like burp, burp, burp, burp!

[Brainiac:]
Ugh, is that veal?

[Brainiacs:]
Oh, nope, nuh uh, that's no no!

[Sharpay:]
That's nas-tay like tuna on a stick!

[Martha:]
I like to burp, alright?

[Brainiacs:]
No no no shh!

[Ryan:]
Tom Lee's dad ran away!

[Sharpay:]
Quit it!

[All:]
And freeze

[Lumpkinella:]
Yeah so after the scientists made me, I slapped the guardian and escaped from the lab. And I'm just trying to be human now

[Taylor:]
Hmm, I don't know how to take that

[Lumpkinella:]
Could you ever forget that you're totally a mischievous android and you have to run on batteries? You never drank that milk

[Taylor:]
I'm gonna go

Scene: Locker room
[Chad:]
Oh so if there's a dog in the bushes that's funny?

[Derf:]
No no no. Dagavochu. A sweema tabba dabba jumble

[Chad:]
Oh that's good

[Jason:]
Hey you guys should clap. Clapping! Delicious

[Chad:]
Hey let's yell Chorky's name

[All except Derf:]
CHORKY!

[Derf:]
Mousey!

[Chad:]
Derf called you Mousey, but that was just Derf being Derf

[All except Derf:]
He's a jelly head!

[Chad:]
Take this, you'll want it. It's pretty cool

[Chorky:]
A potato?

[Chad:]
Yeah that's correct

Scene: Science classroom
[Taylor:]
Okay today I want to show you this really old laptop. As you can see from the photo, somewhere out there is a squirrel who has fingers

[Lumpkinella:]
Um, but, I mean, you know, I could get some of them from the woods

[Taylor:]
Lumpkinella! You look like a human, but that is not what you are

Scene: Locker room
[Chorky:]
Guys, can I have some water?

[Chad:]
Oh that's fancy, a water? Why don't you just tell us about the girl? Is she an alien?

[Chorky:]
Of course she's not, don't be ridiculous. Guys, she's a robot

Scene: Science classroom
[Chorky (on webcam):]
Okay, her hair is synthetic fiber. You know what? She wanted my cat and I think she stole him. Yeah, Lumpkinella's not a real girl. She's just a machine. We can switch her off in a dungeon, and then we'll go out and get bagels. But we'd have to find a dungeon first. Do they even still have them now?

[Taylor:]
Oh dear, you're busted, robot. It's for the best, Lumpkinella. Chorky needs a regular girl, with no hum. By the way, do all robots cry this much?

Scene: Locker room:
[Chad:]
Hey Chorky, do you like oxygen?

[Chorky:]
I have to have it!

[Chad:]
Yeah, I know, right?

Scene: Hallway
[Chorky:]
Woo, I got an owie

[Lumpkinella:]
Hilarious. I heard what you just said to all your little boy friends

[Chorky:]
But I'm n-

[Lumpkinella:]
Now everyone's gonna talk about us. They'll be like "Here comes Fleshy and his mean old robot. How do those two stay together?" Turns out, they don't

[Chorky:]
Lumpkinella!

[Chorky (voice over):]
Lumpkinella's android brain must have somehow misinterpreted what I'd said. When she cut herself out of my life, I lost my best friend, my talent show partner, and the cutest free tech support agent ever

Scene: Lumpkinella's bedroom
[Lumpkinella:]
Hello?

[Chorky (over phone):]
I've been looking for you

[Lumpkinella:]
Who is this?

[Chorky (over phone):]
Why don't you turn around and see?

Scene: Balcony outside Lumpkinella's bedroom
[Chorky:]
I just wanted to say:
"I saw a beaver jogging
Over the top of that dune
And his feet looked so wet
Adorable little wet dude
Oh, beaver jogger in the night
How did you get so wet?
If you're in my yard
I'll get you socks or something soon."
I wrote that for you. It's about us. You know if we leave now we could still make the talent show

[Lumpkinella:]
Then let's go

Scene: Auditorium

[Ryan:]
What you say?

[Sharpay and Ryan:]
Cause I am about to drink from
The popular cup!

[Chorky:]
We're here! Hey, we're here!

[Lumpkinella:]
Ahhhh!

[Chorky:]
We made it!

[Lumpkinella:]
Don't start it without me

[Chorky:]
Don't worry. Hold on, I'm gonna get the mics

[Chorky (voice over):]
Lumpkinella may have been a machine, but that night she displayed one very human emotion: stage fright

[Lumpkinella:]
Um... ahhh...

[Chorky:]
Wait, what are you doing?

[Lumpkinella:]
I can't do it. Not when all these people are scared of me

[Chorky:]
Hey hey, wait wait. Remember the night we first met? Remember talk dance? Let's do this. Move those feet girl, come on! Get ready! Mm, hey, I need fries yeah!

[Lumpkinella:]
I want a monkey friend!

[Chorky:]
Mm, monkey friend! Mm hmm! Hey, can you feel the breeze today? Mm, I gotta go around like oh woop woop oh sho!

[Lumpkinella:]
I like trash bags oh oh ee ooh like owww and I'm very soft!

[Chorky:]
I'm sure oh hey!

[Lumpkinella:]
Oh ho hee!

[Chorky:]
I need a rooster charm!

[Both:]
I don't have any pockets mm mm!

[Chorky:]
So you want a monkey friend, hmm? A monkey friend? Yeah!

[Both:]
And I already know what's gonna happen that weekend...

[Chorky:]
...when you buy a piranha

[Both:]
Yeah, it will bite your feet!

[Chorky:]
Say uh step step yeah! Like that mm mm!

(Vocal sounds)

[Chorky:]
Hey! And I'm maybe gonna walk down to that plant store...

[Both:]
...but only on weekends because that's when they get new plants! And we can say...

[Lumpkinella:]
Ewie!

[Chorky:]
Ohh we bought a new ficus!

[Lumpkinella:]
Yeah and the old one umm...

[Chorky:]
The older one...

[Both:]
...is just sitting in the house
And it gets in the way like it's a –

[Chorky:]
(I forgot to add on the "whee"!)

[Both:]
Ahhh!

[Chorky (voice over):]
Despite the crowd's reaction, we were definitely the worst act that night, and we came in last place

[Kelsey:]
Ha ha!

[Chorky (voice over):]
Still though, I felt like a winner. It was finally time for everyone to perform the song and dance routine we'd been rehearsing for weeks

[Chorky:]
Every now and then I feel like scratching
With five fingers, “Hey! Howdy, you!”

[All:]
Yeah, yeah!

[Chorky:]
But all I really need are apples and lasagna
Before I go to bed

[Lumpkinella:]
I have a vacant stare ‘cause I’m a robot
I’ve got hollow lungs

[Girls:]
I bet your toes are strong!

[Lumpkinella:]
With soft skin engineered to feel girl-like
I’ll stay forever young, yeah

[All:]
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
Wonder why no one that we know blows chunks every day and night
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
And don’t stare into the sun or else your eyes will burn and drip some goo ooo
And burn out
Can’t look at the sun or else your eyes will burn out
Can’t stare at the sun!

[Chorky:]
Come on, let’s have some fun! (Wooahh)

[All:]
Don’t stare at the sun!

[Ryan:]
In my village we have Daryl, Daryl the Pony
And he’s been waiting for a gifted young rider ha ha ha
Yeah, you could not pick a pony that is better than
Daryl the Pony of Love!

[All:]
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
Wonder why no one that we know blows chunks every day and night
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
Why don’t we check out all these socks and then check me out while I dance and go

[Chorky:]
Wow! Yeah! Yes! Okay!
Now we’re dancing the donk-diddy-donkey
Why’d you insist on kissing that clown?
Don’t say goodbye or sayonara

[All:]
All the leeches love me!

[Chorky:]
We’re so glad to be here

[All:]
Plinko waddy-waddy choo-wa diggin that soul
Round and round we go!
This is a dance we practiced in the gym
Plinko waddy-waddy choo-wa diggin that soul
There’s no way it could have been spontaneous
Plinko waddy-waddy choo-wa diggin that soul

[Chorky:]
It’s Corville!

[Lumpkinella:]
I’m running weird!

[All:]
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
I’m feeling no old-timey ghosts will be floating up on the ceiling
WA-HA, DA-DING-DING, CHOO-CHOO, HEY HAW
And don’t stare into the sun or else your eyes will burn and drip some goo ooo
And burn out
Can’t look at the sun or else your eyes will burn out
Can’t stare at the sun!
Wooooaaahh
Don’t stare at the sun!