Peter:
Yesterday, I learned the difference between a train and a boat...I wrote this song before that

Together:
Train on the water, boat on a track
Train on the water, boat on a track

Peter:
My lady took a train across the Atlantic
I hope it don't sink like the Titanic

Quagmire:
I went to the station, caught a boat downtown
I hope it don't fall off the track and I drown

Peter:
Ladies and gentlemen, the All Five-Foot-One Black Albino Choir!

Choir:
Train on the water, boat on a track
Train on the water, boat on a track