Quagmire: Alyssa Milano, I knew you were gonna be hot when you were nine

Peter: How about this?

Every food tastes good with melted cheese

Quagmire: I like twins unless they're Siamese

Peter: There you go, now we're jazzing

Quagmire: Don't store your condoms in your billfold

Those things don't work if they get dry and old

Peter: Broken rubber

Bro-ken rubb-er