[Verse 1: Peter Griffin & Glenn Quagmire]
I can't poop in strange places (Strange places)
I can only poop in my home
It's as though I'm watched by strange faces (Strange faces)
It's why I never roam

[Interlude: Glenn Quagmire]
Excuse me, I just wanna grab one of those newspapers
Just grab one and go!
I'm looking for a job, okay?!

[Verse 2: Peter Griffin, Glenn Quagmire & Both]
I've left Stewie alone with strangers (Strangers)
To satisfy my fecal needs...
I'd put my whole family in danger
To poop before my anus bleeds

[Chorus: Peter Griffin & Glenn Quagmire]
Home bowl, home bowl
You know just what I need
Home bowl, home bowl
Poop before my anus bleeds