[Spoken Intro: Chloe Troast, Chloe Fineman & Ego Nwodim]
"Hey, ladies. We all know that feeling when a man you love betrays you."
"Yep!"
"I know that's right."
"Been through it a million times, but we don't get mad..."
"We get even!"

[Verse 1: Chloe Troast, Chloe Fineman, Ego Nwodim & Chris Stapleton]
He's playing with my heart baby, he's no good
So I took my lipstick, wrote my name on his hood
Mess with me, Imma mess you up
So I took my keys to his Chevy pickup

My man left and he didn't treat me kind
Y'all can mess with his truck, I'll destroy his mind
Break into his house, keep replacing his shoes
With the same set of shoes, but a half a size bigger
Every other week, so it's got thе boy thinking:
"Are these diffеrent, or am I shrinking?"
(Shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, shrinking...)

"Wait, you did what now?"

[Chorus]
You had a whole-ass meal
But you left me for a snack
You better mark my words
I'm gonna get that boy back
[Verse 2: Chloe Troast, & Chloe Fineman]
He's got a new chick and he thinks she rocks
But I'll get him back with my breakup bod
I'm in his parents' house, painted just like their wall
Whispering "Get out" in the middle of the night

[Spoken Interlude 1: Chloe Troast, 'Heidi Gardner', & Chris Stapleton]
"Get out..."
"'They're telling me to get out! They keep saying it!'"
"Who? Who is saying that?!"
"'The walls! I'm moving in with you!'"

[Chorus]
You had a whole-ass meal
But you left me for a snack
You better mark my words
I'm gonna get that boy back

[Verse 3: Chloe Troast, Chloe Fineman, Ego Nwodim & (Ryan Gosling)]
Good luck finding a new booty call
With your crazy-ass mom still talkin' 'bout the walls
Not sure we're on the same page as each other
I was more thinking he'd get beat up by brother
Oh, I got a brother too, and he taught me better
(I'm ex-CIA and I go by the Shredder)
[Verse 4: Ryan Gosling]
Every day my sis, you better adore her
'Cause she knows my tricks of psychological torture
Like switching his Sudoku with one that can't be solved
Plucking out his hair so he thinks he's going bald

Wait, here's my favorite -- you won't regret this
Date him as a new chick in prosthetics
Make him fall in love, then six months in
Act like you only speak Romanian

[Spoken Interlude 2: Chloe Troast, 'Heidi Gardner', & Chris Stapleton]
"Why are you talking like this?"
[in Romanian] "What do you mean?
"'The Romanian girl has the eyes of the walls!'"
"Stop talking about the walls!"
[in Romanian] "Seriously, stop talking about the walls!"

[Verse 5: Chris Stapleton]
Why's my new girl
Not speaking English?
I just tried to pay my taxes
But they said I don't exist

When Jenny left me
Man, I really miss her
She thought I was cheating
But I was just texting my sister
[Spoken Interlude 3: Chloe Troast & Chris Stapleton]
"Oh, that was your sister!"
Aaah!

[Chorus: Chloe Troast & Chris Stapleton]
I had a whole-ass meal (Whole ass meal...)
Wouldn't leave her for a snack
That wild wall woman (Wild wall woman)
Gave my mom a heart attack

[Spoken Interlude 1: Heidi Gardner]
"I knew it! The walls, they're alive!"

[Outro: Chloe Troast]
Mark my words, Imma get the boy back