[Verse 1: Andrew Dismukes]
I'm on this flight to Phoenix
And my phone's got no power
I got no damn entertainment
For three whole hours

When out the corner of my eye
I am saved from disaster
The man to my right is watching
Brad Pitt in "Ad Astra"

[Chorus: Andrew Dismukes]
And now I am the man
Who watches the man
Who watches the movie
Catty-corner to me

My Kindle is dead
I am raw-dogging this flight
So I will watch what he watches
The man to my right

[Verse 2: Josh Brolin]
I got my kindle and some headphones
Life couldn't be better
And when I look up, I see
They got my favorite movie ever
I'm watching Ad Astra
Brad Pitt's in the zone
I look over my shoulder and realized
I am not alone

[Chorus: Josh Brolin]
Because back there is a man
He's watching me, man
He's watching my movie
Catty-corner to me

His breath is on my neck
I can't keep watching like this
I go to turn off the movie
His hand grabs my wrist

[Verse 3: Andrew Dismukes, Josh Brolin & Kenan Thompson]
Dude, what are you doing?!
I got nothing to do!
My Kindle is dead
So I am living through you!

How can you even watch it?
There's no captions
I'll keep it on
If you can tell me what just happened
Probably Brad is Ad Astra
No, that's not his name
Then who the hell is Ad Astra?!
You sound totally insane

Here, just play my Sudoku
I do not know how (What?)
I never learned the rules
And I am not starting now!

"Hey, would you two shut up?!"

[Pre-Chorus: Kenan Thompson]
This poor soul has nothing
His Kindle is dead
One day, it could be you
With nothing to do but stare ahead

I am the Air Marshal
On my plane, there's one rule:
You must do unto others
As you'd have them to do you

[Chorus: All]
'Cause one day, you'll be the man
Who watches the man
Who watches the movie
Catty-corner to me
If your Kindle is dead
And you're raw-dogging this flight
Then you will watch what he watches
The man to your right

[Outro: Chloe Troast]
Yea-yea-yeah-heah-heah-hea
"Enjoy your flight."