[Verse 1: Kate McKinnon & Nasim Pedrad, Vanessa Bayer]
Back in town, visiting my mom and dad
But that don't mean I don't wanna be bad
Say "what's up" to my cousins, say "what's up" to my neighbors
Then take my man to my childhood bedroom
This is my old christening dress
And here's my stack of X-Files on VHS
Now we're gonna freak (freak) in my monkey sheets (sheets)
That I've had since I was a kid

[Chorus 1: All Women]
Let's do it in my twin bed (twin bed)
Not gonna like it (like it)
But it's the only option (option)
Where we can get it popping (popping)
Let's do it in my twin bed (twin bed)
Probably fall off it (off it)
But let's get wild (wild)
In a bed for a child (child)

[Verse 2: Cecily Strong & Aidy Bryant]
If you want an old cat to watch you bone
You're gonna wanna get down in my parents' home
It's lick its body (body) while you lick my body (body)
Then it'll throw up on your bags
Come on, sexy boy, gotta do this quick
While my folks are at the pharmacy, my mom is sick
She's got a cough (cough), she got it from Jean (Jean)
And now it's a whole thing with Jean
[Noël Wells & Beck Bennett]
I'm glad you got to meet my Uncle Ted
Now keep it down cause he's a sleep on my trundle bed
Hey, don't mind me (me), we're family ('ly)
Did you hear Aunt Ruth is dead? (Sad)

[Chorus 2: All Women]
Let's do it on my twin bed (twin bed)
Even though Aunt Ruth's dead (Ruth's dead)
Wish we had more room (more room)
But Grandma got the guest room (guest room)
But we'll still get nasty (nasty)
Up against my trophies (trophies)
You're a certified hottie (hottie)
Just like JTT

[Bridge: Jimmy Fallon]
Girl, you know I love you, but let's be clear
I'm having lots of trouble getting horny here
I wanna get down and do my thing
But your childhood bed has antique springs
And I guess your mom don't know how to knock
Keep my foot on the door cause it doesn't lock
Can't fully undress case your parents come through
Just shirt, no pants like Winnie the Pooh
And why am I even trying to get laid
Under a photo of you from seventh grade?
[Breakdown (Spoken): Aidy Bryant]
Let's take it back now, y'all

[Chorus 3: All Women]
So we'll do it in my twin bed (twin bed)
Not gonna like it (like it)
But you can't be picky (picky)
When you're staying with your family (family)

[Outro (Spoken): Jimmy Fallon]
Having sex in a tiny twin bed y'all
[Kate McKinnon]
Happy holidays
[Aidy Bryant]
We out