(spoken intro)
Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Christopher Walken, and this is Saturday Night Live. Throughout my career, I've been accused of being cold and distant, even sinister, often sounding as though I were reading my lines off of cue cards. But if you think I'm scary, you should be standing up here. It's hard to describe the excitement that I'm feeling at this moment. But I'm sure you can see just how excited I am by the expression on my face. Okay, you can't. So maybe it would be better if I expressed my feelings in another way

(song)
I feel like a million dollars
I feel simply out of sight
Come on down, come on down
I'm throwing a ball tonight

Fill up the ol' paprika
Load it with dynamite
Come on down, come on down
I'm throwing a ball tonight

A certain person just brought the news
Wow, it was great!
I'm rehearsing in my dancing shoes
'Cause now I can celebrate!

I feel like a million dollars
I feel simply out of sight
Come on down, come on down
I'm throwing a ball tonight

I invited Michael Jackson
I invited Princess Di
I asked the Queen to make a scene
With Cher, Trump, Bush, Prince, Sting, Liz, Madonna, and Sly
I Invited Joanie Collins
And, of course, I asked Jackie O
But, to my surprise, everyone of those guys
RSVP'd no

Still I feel like a million dollars
I feel simply out of sight
Come on down, come on down
I'm throwing a ball tonight

(dance break)

I feel like a million dollars
I feel simply out of sight
Come on down, come on down
Come on down, come on down
I'm throwing a ball tonight

(spoken outro)
That should give you some idea how excited I am. Bonnie Raitt is here, so stay with us. Be right back!