(Spoken Intro)
[KATE MCKINNON]
Everyone knows the story

[EMMA STONE]
Of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ

[AIDY BRYANT]
But this is the story

[EMMA STONE]
Of another more powerful Christmas savior

(Verse 1)
[KATE MCKINNON]
The snow's falling down
It’s Christmastime again
A woman has to get a gift
For some girl at work named Jen

[EMMA STONE]
She doesn't know what Jen likes
And she doesn't super care
So she goes inside a closet
Just to see what crap’s in there
[AIDY BRYANT]
In darkness, there's a light
Then suddenly she sees the Christmas savior's here tonight

(Chorus 1)
[ALL]
It's a candle
A plain peach candle
It's been sitting by a bike pump for a year
She takes the candle
Dusts off the candle
Then wraps it up for Jen and just says, "Here."

(Verse 2)
[EMMA STONE]
Then one day after this
In foggy London town

[AIDY BRYANT]
Two acquaintances are having tea
When one puts a present down

[KATE MCKINNON]
The other says, "Wait, what?
"I mean, I got you something, too."
Then she rummages inside her purse
For some garbage that will do
A hand, it settles on
[AIDY BRYANT]
Something that she just had gotten from her boyfriend's mom

(Chorus 2)
[ALL]
It's the candle
That same peach candle
Regifted 'round the world in just one day
Oh thank you, candle
The one true candle
The candle we all get, then give away

(Bridge)
[AIDY BRYANT]
But here’s a warning:
When you give a candle, that is all that you need
Don’t pair it with a lotion or some lame little cream
A lot of people think two gifts are better than one
But that just makes each gift seem smaller and dumb

(Chorus 3)
[ALL]
So just give the candle
Don't overthink the candle
It’s passed to every single woman and most gays
We all get the candle
We all give the candle
That nine-dollar candle
That almost rude candle
We're joined by the candle
It's the gift of having a gift to give away
The gift of having a gift to give away
(Spoken outro)
[EMMA STONE]
Thank you, candle