(Spoken Intro)
[MOM]
Your dad and I'll be back on Sunday, and remember: No parties

{BROTHER AND SISTER]
We promise!

{MOM]
Dammit, Ron, I'm coming!

{BROTHER AND SISTER]
It's on!

(Verse 1)
[SISTER]
Whip out the phone, start sendin' texts
Our parents are gone, you know what happens next

[BROTHER]
Havin' a party, should be cool

[SISTER]
Who's here?

[BROTHER]
The entire school!
Everybody came, the jocks and the geeks
Popular girls, the goths and the freaks
[SISTER]
Class clown's pushin' beer

[BROTHER]
He is boozin'

[SISTER]
Nerd's playing beer pong

[BROTHER]
He is losin'

[SISTER]
The quarterback's here, that's hella lit
Glad you came through

[QUARTERBACK]
The party's legit!

[SISTER]
Stoner kid's rollin' up a thick-ass blunt

[BROTHER]
And sittin' on the couch is my AP English teacher?

(Hook)
[SISTER]
'Cause we're havin' a party!
[DJ]
Hella fun!

[SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party!

[DJ]
Why'd your teacher come?

[SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party!

[DJ]
Kinda weird, right?

[SISTER]
Party at my house tonight!

(Verse 2)
[SISTER]
Party's goin' off, that's how it goes, though

[BROTHER]
Mr. B lookin' at my family photos
Nursin' a beer as he tours my home
[MR. B]
Hey Zack, was this taken in Rome?

[BROTHER]
Yo, sis, Mr. B came

[SISTER]
I know he did
Why's he here? He has a wife and kid!

[BROTHER]
Is he creepin' on girls?

[SISTER]
No, he's bein' polite

[BROTHER]
Then why the f--- is he here?

[SISTER]
Just chill, all right?
He ain't doin' no harm, don't pay him attention

[BROTHER]
It's just weird that he's here watching Shawshank Redemption

[MR. B]
Andy Dufresne!

(Verse 3)
[BROTHER]
Midnight comes and the party's still packed
Sophomore says

[SOPHOMORE]
There you are, Zack
Wanna chill in your room? The party's kinda loud

[BROTHER]
Mr. B's with the vape rats

[MR. B]
Hey, great cloud!

[SOPHOMORE]
Show me your room

[BROTHER]
Yo, he's drinkin' a bunch

[MR. B]
That cloud smells amazing, is that Cap'n Crunch?

[SISTER]
Mr. B's havin' the time of his life

[BROTHER]
Till he gets a call, must be his wife

[SISTER]
Ignores the call, stares off into space
Twirls his wedding ring, blank look on his face

[BROTHER]
He's goin' through some stuff!

[SISTER]
Mid-life crisis?

[BROTHER]
No, deeper than that

[SISTER]
It's none of our business

(Hook)
{SISTER AND BROTHER]
'Cause we're havin' a party

[DJ]
Starin' in the mirror

[SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party!

[DJ]
Looking at himself

[SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party!

[DJ]
Who have I become?

[SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party at my house tonight!

(Verse 4)
[BROTHER]
3 A.M., party's comin' to an end

[SISTER]
Time to say goodbye to all our friends

[QUARTERBCK]
Party was epic!

[DJ]
Party's the best!

[SOPHOMORE]
Maybe check on Mr. B, though?

[BROTHER]
He hasn't left?
Heading home, Mr. B?

[MR. B]
Hey there, Zack
God, I miss high school, wish I could go back

[BROTHER]
Ha ha, that's cool

[SISTER]
May we call you a Lyft?

[MR. B]
Time goes by fast, cherish it

[BROTHER]
Well, you should probably roll, if you know what I mean

[MR. B]
I'd kill my mother for a time machine

[SISTER]
Okay, well

[MR. B]
Promise me, guys, you'll just be alive while you're young and alive

[BROTHER]
Right

[MR. B]
Sleep with everyone
You're only young once, so make it fun

[SISTER]
Oh, you're havin' one more?

[MR. B]
Yeah
Great party

[BROTHER]
Hold up, Mr. B, are you good to drive?

[MR. B]
Not even close, but I got a ride

(Spoken)
[MRS. B]
It is three in the morning, Richard

[MR. B]
Sorry

[MRS. B]
What is going on with you lately?

[MR. B]
I don't know, okay?

[MRS. B]
Come on!

(Outro)
{SISTER AND BROTHER]
Party at my house tonight!