[Verse 1: Kenan Thompson]
Out drinkin' with my boys late night
Come home to my lady past midnight
She waitin' up, she throwin' me shade
We havin' words, this is what she said
She said I'm out too late, she pushed me away
There ain't nothin' in the world that I can say

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
So I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch tonight
I did wrong, but I meant to do right
Now I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
I'm sleepin' on the couch

[Verse 2: Chris Redd]
Workin' late, makin' paper, hittin' deadlines
Comin' home, now it's crawlin' in to bed time
I pull the sheet, she tellin' me no
I asked her why, but I already know

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
I'm on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch tonight
She in bed all tucked in tight
But I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
I'm sleepin' on the couch
[Verse 3: The Weeknd]
We make dinner like lovers do
I pour her wine

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
And I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch tonight
Don't seem too fair this time
I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch

[Verse 4: Kenan Thompson]
I wake her up with roses on the bed
Tell her all the sweet thoughts in my head
She roll her eyes and—

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
I'm sleepin on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch

[Verse 5: Chris Redd]
I buy her Prada
Say I love her mama
She says I'm—

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
Sleepin' on the couch tonight
She got me on the couch
[Verse 6: The Weeknd]
I say hello, and—

[Chorus: Kenan Thompson, Chris Redd & The Weeknd]
I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight
She got me on the—

[Verse 7: The Weeknd]
Girl, we all make mistakes, it's true
Tell me what I gotta do
To get back into bed with you
What did I ever do to you?
Oh

[Skit: Kenan Thompson & Ego Nwodim]
What'd I do, girl?
Cheated on me almost every day
True
I caught you cheatin' on me yesterday
You did
You even cheated on me on my couch
Yes
And that's why your ass is in the doghouse
Fair
[Skit: Melissa Villaseñor & Chris Redd]
I ain't mad about you workin' late
Good
But you got ten credit cards in my name
Word
You maxed 'em out, now my credit's bad
Right
And why'd you take out life insurance on me?

[Skit: Heidi Gardner & The Weeknd]
We broke up five years ago
And?
I got married to another guy
And?
He's sick of you crashin' here
And?
You really gotta stop comin' over here!
What?

[Skit: Daniel Craig & The Weeknd]
You really can't keep comin' here, bud
I-I know you ain't really got a place to stay, but we... We got kids!
Yeah, but—
No, no buts!
It's gotta stop, okay?!
Yeah
All right, well, see you 'round

[Chorus: The Weeknd]
Guess I'm sleepin' in my car tonight
Sleepin' in my ca

[Skit: Daniel Craig & The Weeknd]
You can't park in the driveway, bud, you can—
Come on, you gotta go
Let's go
Alright
You don't have to stand there and watch me leave
No, I don't have to, but I'm gonna