WIFE GAME SHOW - Tina/Amy/Vanessa/Aidy/Taran/Bobby/Kenan/Leslie/Extras/Higgns V.O.
(OPEN ON: "THIS IS YOUR LIFE"
GAME SHOW SET. THREE CONTESTANTS
AT PODIUMS IN DIM LIGHTING)
(MUSIC: DRAMATIC)
(CUT TO: BOBBY IN DARK)
HIGGINS (V.O.)
He's a professor from Alexandria, Virginia.
(CUT TO: TARAN)
HIGGINS (V.O.)
He’s a software engineer from Palo Alto, California.
(CUT TO: KENAN)
And he's a financial analyst in Boston, Massachusetts.
(CUT TO: SET)
HIGGINS (V.O.)
They may not know it yet, but they're
all guests on America’s favorite new show:
(SUPER STILL: MEET YOUR SECOND WIFE)
ALL (V.O.)
Meet! Your Second! Wife!
[CHEERING]
(AMY AND TINA AS HOSTS)
TINA: Hello and welcome to
"Meet Your Second Wife."
AMY: We're your hosts.
I'm Helen Walsh.
TINA: And I'm Tina Fey.
AMY: And this is the only show where
happily married men get a chance
to meet the person who will one
day bеcome: their second wifе.
TINA: You guys excited?
KENAN: ...Um?
AMY: Great! Let's meet our first
contestant, Brian from Alexandria.
BOBBY: Wait, I'm sorry.
What is this show now?
TINA FEY: You'll see.
Now, I understand your lovely wife
Samantha is in the audience today.
VANESSA: Yay Brian.
TINA FEY: She seems great.
For now.
AMY: But Brian, let's meet your second wife.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is Hannah.
Hannah is currently an eighth grade student
at Wellington Middle School.
But one day, years in the future,
she will be your second wife.
BOBBY: That’s impossible.
I love my wife.
She supported me while I’ve been writing my novel, so.
TINA FEY: But what if I told you in a few years,
one of your novels becomes a surprise bestseller
and it's even optioned for a movie?
BOBBY: Mm, yeah.
Then yeah, no, I get it now.
TINA FEY: Do you have any questions
for your second wife, Brian?
BOBBY: Sure.
Hi.
What kind of things are you interested in?
HANNAH: Horses.
BOBBY: Horses.
Yeah.
Yeah, horses are cool.
OK.
Well, I guess I’ll see you again in 20 years.
TINA FEY: Actually it's seven.
Next, is Steve from Palo Alto.
AMY: Excited to be here Steve?
TARAN: I was before.
But now I'm not.
AMY: Great.
I understand your wife Elaine is here also.
ELAINE: I thought this was a home makeover show.
TINA FEY: In a way, it is.
AMY: OK, Steve.
Let's meet your second wife.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is Stacy.
TARAN: Oh no.
AMY: How many years old are you Stacey?
TINA FEY: That is five fingers.
I believe she’s trying to say she's five.
AMY: Well, Stacy may still be learning her numbers.
But one day, she will be your second wife.
TINA FEY: What's going to happen is,
Stacy will apply for an internship at your company.
AMY: Which she will hear about from a college
roommate who is also, you guessed it, your daughter.
TARAN: I mean, that's kind of nice right?
At least then, my daughter and she can stay friends?
TINA FEY: Oh yeah.
Your daughter is going to love it.
TARAN: I'm sorry.
This is ridiculous.
I am not leaving Elaine.
TINA FEY: You're right.
You won't.
Sadly, Elaine will pass away in a tragic kayaking accident.
AIDY: What?
AMY: Sorry Elaine.
We don't make the future.
We just know it.
TINA FEY: Next up, we've got Toby from Boston.
AMY: And Toby, you're here tonight
with your wife of 20 years, Deanna.
KENAN: That's right.
Hey baby.
TINA FEY: OK, Toby.
Let's meet your second wife.
KENAN: Don't be white.
Don't be white.
Don't be white.
Don't be white.
Oh!
Son of a--
LESLIE: You a dead man, Toby.
TINA FEY: Toby, this is Alicia.
She is currently a sophomore at Rutgers.
KENAN: Well, that's not that bad.
I mean, the other ones were younger, right?
AMY: Slow down.
See Alicia has a serious boyfriend.
And she just found out she's three months pregnant with, you
guessed it, your second wife.
TINA FEY: Let's show Toby the sonogram.
[YELLING]
AMY: Already a beauty.
KENAN: Uh, quick question.
Does the show provide overnight lodging
where I can stay indefinitely?
AMY: No, but all of today's contestants
are going home with a fabulous prize.
Oh, a new kayak!
AIDY: I know I shouldn't, but they're so fun.
TINA FEY: Well, that's all the time we have.
AMY: Join us next time on--
-Meet Your Second Wife!
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
