[Intro: Ass Dan, Jake 2 Fresh]
Ha ha ha
Yeah, so many confusing things out there
Well, get your magnifying glasses out, Ninjas
And take a closer look at life

[Verse 1: Ass Dan, Jake 2 Fresh, Together]
The world is full of magical mysteries
Puzzles unsolved since ancient history
Where does the sun hide at night?
Did people really used to live in black and white?
Is the world round? Is it flat?
How come no one can tell me that?
Like, what's with islands? Get more land!
What's with deserts? Get less sand
What is Alaska? Who is Brazil?
Isn't a volcano just an angry hill?
How did God even think of dirt?
Erasable pеns make my head hurt!
Metal, girls, iron, firе
How'd they get my voice in a telephone wire?
Why are pants different than shirts?
F**kin' blankets... how do they work?

[Chorus: Ass Dan, Jake 2 Fresh]
(The world is full of mysteries)
Yo, how do suitcases always know where to meet you, huh?
(So many magical mysteries)
Are children small, or just far away? Yeah, ha ha!
(Why are there so many mysteries?)
Why do some mountains look like presidents?
(Hey, world, stop trying to tell us things!)
What the f**k is a clock?
[Verse 1: Ass Dan, Jake 2 Fresh, Together]
Now here's just a list of some stuff
Trees, swans, capes, a horse
Triangles, witches, a different horse
Two horses
The whole world's got ten thousand people
And Santa Claus created all of us equal
Ass Dan's kids look just like Ass Dan
And my two kids look just like Ass Dan
So open your mind, brush it off your brain
The mysteries of life can't be explained
So f**k you, books, we don't need your tricks
And all you scientists can suck our d**ks
It's all magic

[Outro: Ass Dan, Jake 2 Fresh]
Aw yeah, Ninjas!
Life is a beautiful thing
Ha ha!
Jake 2 Fresh, Ass Dan, 2010
Ha ha
I'm gonna live forever! Ha ha