[COWBOY ROB]
Another year has come and gone
And still we ride the range
And as the new year faces us
A cowboy ponders change

I decided this year to quit smokin' for good

[COWBOY DANA]
I'm givin' up red meat and butter

[COWBOY PHIL]
I'm gonna alternate shots of tequila
With a big-ass tumbler of water

[COWBOY ROB]
Well, I won't take a whiz on the campfire this year

[COWBOY DANA]
And if I get married, I'll show up

[COWBOY PHIL]
And I'm gonna watch where I spit when I chew

[COWBOY ROB]
This may be the year that we grow up
[ALL]
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy

[COWBOY DANA]
I'm gonna make sex an expression of love
And not just a means of escape

[COWBOY ROB]
I'm gonna stay out of those romantic flings
That are often mistaken for rape

[COWBOY PHIL]
And let's keep our hands off the cattle this year
And not just 'cause they had us arrested

[COWBOY ROB]
It's bad enough that they're all gonna be killed
They don't need to be touched or molested

[ALL]
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy
[COWBOY ROB]
Well, I'm not gonna shoot at your feet anymore
Yellin' "Dance, little sissy boy, dance!"
And when you take a break, I won't holler "Stampede!"
When I see that you're droppin' your pants

[COWBOY DANA]
I'm gonna get over depression this year
And stop cursin' the day I was born

[COWBOY PHIL]
And I won't be turnin' my saddle around
And ride down the trail on the horn

[ALL]
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy