(Song)
[WIFE 1]
Lately it seems like the magic is gone
He's the love of my life, but something is wrong

[WIFE 2]
He's staring out the window, what does he see?
Is he dreaming of another woman he wants more than me?

[WIFE 3]
He's got me feelin' so alone
Like our house is not a home

[WIFE 1]
Would he be happier on his own?
What are you thinking about, baby?

[HUSBAND 1]
Me? I'm just thinkin' about

(Rap)
The Roman Empire, ancient Rome
Five times a day it pops into my dome
Which reminds me, they invented the dome
It's one of the reasons that I think about Rome
Caesar straight didn't give a f--k
Drank ice-cold water from an aqueduct
Romulus founded the Eternal City
Here's him and his twin suckin' on a wolf titty
What?
(Song)
[WIFE 2]
Our son was born, he's a special little guy
I hand him to his daddy, he looks like he's gonna cry
And I know his heart is filled with

(Rap)
[HUSBAND 2]
Rome, Rome bring a tear to my eye
In the year double M, double X, triple I
Did you know that their statues weren't white? (Say what?)
They painted them in colors bold and bright (Say damn!)
Emperor Nero killed his own mother
When they killed his s--t they sat next to each other

(Song)
[WIFE 3]
Bills piling up, bank account --

(Rap)
[HUSBAND 3]
Gladiators! It's not like the movie, they mostly stayed alive
The feel oh so good, they're still used today
And Emperor Hadrian? Openly gay

[HUSBANDS]
It's Rome, Rome, ancient Rome
They had central air and heat in the home
(Spoken)
[WIFE 1]
No! No, you're done!

[HUSBAND 1]
God!

[WIFE 1]
What'd you say?

[HUSBAND 1]
I said you're acting like the Visigoths right now. Ow!

[WIFE 1}
Stop thinking about Rome all the time! Look at our son! You got him doing it now, too

[SON]
Rome? Naw, woman. I'm busy thinkin' about

(Rap)
Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, all kinda dinosaurs
Big Diplodocus to Tyrannosaurus
They ruled the world, but now they not around
Only traces of them buried in the ground

[HUSBAND 1]
Kinda like Rome, Rome, ancient Rome
Founded London and Paris, Zurich and Cologne
And in terms of religion
(Spoken)
[WIFE 1]
Hey, no! You need to be thinking about things that matter today

[HUSBAND 1]
Like what?

[WIFE 1]
Like --

(Rap)
[WIVES]
Astrology, astrology, reading the stars
And how their positions determines who we are

{WIFE 2]
He's a Scorpio, I know he's gonna cheat all day

[WIFE 3]
And if you a triple Gemini, stay the hell away

[WIFE 1]
Astrology!

(Spoken)
[HUSBAND 1]
Fun fact: the Romans were actually into astrology, too

[WIFE 1]
I said you're done!