You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
You say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you will say
When you get home

But there's something happening here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
You ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It is his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Yes, 'cause something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?
So you hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "Well, how does it feel my friend
To be such a freak?"
You say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

And you're positive something's happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have so many contacts
Out there among the lumberjacks
To get you the facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway, they already expect
You to just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations
Welllllll!

You've been with the professors
And they all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
Yeah, it's well known
Because something is still happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
Without further notice
He tells you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your mouth back
Thanks for the loan"

And you know something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "Good God, what's happenin'?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or go home"
Yes, and now you're positive something's happening here
And you wish you knew what it was
Don't you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
To put your eyes in your pocket
Nose in the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear some earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?