[Tuli's Spoken Word Intro]
It isn't very well known...
But the same week Israeli archeologists discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls in Cave 63...
The used to go next-door in Cave 64 to eat their lunch...
And that same weekend an even more important discovery was literally stumbled upon. One of the archeologists Hyam Pisz, he had to go to the bathroom, so he went in the corner there, and he found these scrolls that contained the first national anthem, also known as "The Hymn to Nationalism"
With the help of Mel Brook’s 2,000 Year Old Man, the first line was easily made out, but then they got stuck--stuck
You know how that happens
So they took the manuscripts--you know how they are like copper, like copper rolls. They look like strudels, you know. Mohnstrudels, you know-- Yiddish that's poppy-seed strudels. They took these, they had 5 of them, and they took them--they took them to the Hobbit universe where at the Center for Mid-Eastern Studies the rest of the can't--canticle was faithfully deciphered and we have no for you
This song is dedicated to the Iranians and Iraq, Turks and Greeks, Serbs and Croats, Hindus and Sikhs, Czechs and Slovaks, Jews and Arabs, Tamil and Sihlanese, Tutsi and Hutu, and the Dodgers and the Mets

[Verse 1]
Let them all go to hell except Cave 64!
If they give you any trouble, throw them through the door!
This is our cave, it’s the best in the world!
We don't want no foreigners, our cave might get spoiled!
No, we don't want no wogs here, our cave would get spoiled!

[Verse 2]
Our cave is the best, to hell with the rest!
We got the prettiest girls, they never fail the test! (That's the AIDs test, I guess)
We got the greatest music, we got the bestest brains
'Cause we always eat the cortex of the ones that we have slain!
Yeah, we love to slurp gray matter from the ones that we have slain!

[Verse 3]
Ruling comes naturally to those who excel
The rest of you bastards, well you can go to hell!
God gave us power, and God made us right
And if you don't like it, we'll stab you in a fight!
Yeah, if you don't like it, we’ll kill you in the night!
(Okay everybody, everybody, everybody!)
[Verse 4]
Let them all go to hell except Cave 64!
If they give you any trouble throw them through the door!
This is our cave, it’s the greatest in the world!
We don't want no wogs here, our cave might get spoiled!
No, we don’t want no foreigners here, our cave would get spoiled!