[Verse 1]
I've been described as quite a nice chap
Why you might ask, pfft, I dunno, I'm just like that
But my mind's tapped like hi-hats on my tracks
Can't bypass the deep stuff much, I need a hi-pass
So I can glide fast right past
Strife like I was covered in butter, smothered the stuff on my back
I'd just like to lie back and have a nightcap
But there's black bags under my eyes, I want an ice pack
When I'm low on melatonin, then I'm throwing my nap
Time out the window when I try pulling the blind back
Sun is shining, and we're finding that's an anticlimax
Sadly, life’s lacking passion, I don't even mind that
I maybe will just give up on my damn self
I find it fine, gravy, chilling at my nan's house
Dine inside daily, living off her handouts
But now that nice lady's kicked me out the dang house!

[Chorus]
Grandma, why you do me like that?
I was your manchild, and you threw me right out
Grandma, why you do me like that?
Why you do me like that?
I'm the talk of the town
The way I wobble around
They are knocking my style
And it's knocking me down
Grandma, why you do me like that? Wow
[Verse 2]
I can't believe my nan kicked me with a roundhouse
Hit me in the kidneys 'till I'm crouching in the outhouse
Now I've got to worry about wealth and how to get it
Make myself a living, make myself self-sufficient
It's selfish, isn't it? Now I'll have to sell fish and shift shellfish
Fresh off the shelf in shifts for chefs for shelter
Fretting 'cause I'm fresh out of vouchers
For freeloading, now I'm Al Fresco, I've felt it
Felt tip crayons on my curriculum vitae
Can't erase or fix it with an instant replay
Life's definitely too hard every day
Like zip-a-dee-doo-dah-zippedy-ay
But whatever, give me a suit, tie and briefcase
I'm ready to do time in meatspace
And though I know that I'm probably throwing a wobbly
Over not growing up properly, tell it to me straight, mate, don't put it softly

[Chorus]
Grandma, why you do me like that?
I was your manchild, and you threw me right out
Grandma, why you do me like that?
Why you do me like that?
I'm the talk of the town
The way I wobble around
They are knocking my style
And it's knocking me down
Grandma, why you do me like that?
[Verse 3]
Well, let me explain, lots of people are wobbling
It's not something to be bothering ya
Life can seem impossible
Every time we dream we drop it all
Can't sit on the lawn for long
We've got to be responsible
Get comfy being uncomfortable
With something we've not done before
I can't put on the confidence
Without keeping a confidant
Walk up the street with your pyjamas on
See your badonkadonk
You could be an even more clumsy humpty dumpty
Someone'll still see you all hunky for the rumpy-pumpy
You shouldn't be grumpy just because your custard gon' be lumpy
You're receiving something sweet while some people be hungry
So step up, and then step outside
'Cause what you put in's what you get out of life
It's a wild ride, won't get out alive
But while we're 'round might as well check out the vibes
You're the talk of the town
The way you wobble around
They might be knocking your style
But they're not knocking you out
[Chorus]
Grandma, why you do me like that?
I was your manchild, and you threw me right out
Grandma, why you do me like that?
Why you do me like that?
I'm the talk of the town
The way I wobble around
They are knocking my style
And it's knocking me down
Grandma, why you do me like that?

[Verse 4]
Look, you may stumble, so it tends to pay to stay humble
So when you take tumbles, then you say: "I'm all good"
Transmit your power like a freakin' fan belt would
I phrase it in ways that only Dan Bull could
Bathe in self praise 'till I am well scrubbed
Come out smelling like sandalwood
'Cause we're all winners here, so I hand out dubs
Feel a teeny bit proud? Well, damn, you damn well should
I know I said stay humble, but you stand out good
I smell you moving louder through the crowd than Gandalf's bud
Through Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Samwise's hood
You're feeling sweet as when you eat a piece of Grandma's fudge
But don't look for food to come to you, you're not a fly trap
It's not a box of chocolates, life’s a spice rack
And when it bites you in the act, you've got to bite back
Or you'll find that it'll treat you like a light snack
When you hit skid row, go follow the tire tracks
Fight back, smash life like glass
Then when they inquire why you're such a nice chap
You can reply: "Pfft, I dunno, I'm just like that"

[Chorus]
Grandma, why you do me like that?
I was your manchild, and you threw me right out
Grandma, why you do me like that?
Why you do me like that?
I'm the talk of the town
The way I wobble around
They are knocking my style
And it's knocking me down
Grandma, why you do me like that?