[Introduction (Speaking)]
I, um, I released a record this year, it's called "The Great American Bar Scene"
And this a song I wrote called "The Great American Bar Scene"

[Verse]
I lost my money to some dirty old bookie
Way up in Philly, he was a bad man
But you can't bet your life on the table
When you've got yourself a bad hand
So I went and got my good friend Mickey
And we made ourselves a bold stand
Wound up bleedin' on the bar floor
And we don't bet on ball no more

[Speaking]
Go birds!

[Refrain]
Where thе bets are tough and bartendеrs mean
The great Philadelphian bar scene

[Verse 2]
My brother from Tulsa has got himself a warrant
But he's on the run up in Cheyenne
They hemmed me up and asked me some questions
But I ain't no damn rat man
Put cuffs on so tight he started bleedin'
From his wrist down through to his right hand
[Refrain]
Put "State Trooper" up on the record machine
It's the great Philadelphian bar scene

[Verse 3]
Neon lightin', wooden floors lightly
As her feet quietly slide across
Tough boys have all came and went
She's a-heaven-sent and I'm at a loss
So if you've got the time, I've got the quarter
And a two-steppin' song called "Hey Porter"

[Refrain]
Why does love always feel like a fever dream
In the great Pennsylvanian bar scene?

[Verse 4]
My heart stays hurtin' and hands stay workin'
And me, I'm just a sinnin' man
I've tried like hell to keep my health
Treat others well and understand

[Refrain]
Why life's unfair, uncertain and mean
In the great Philadelphian bar scene