Honestly, I was excited
I was all ready
I thought that today
You would confess to me

Unusually, you’re setting the mood
Why’re you doing that, I’m getting nervous
But then you say you have a girlfriend
What in the world are you talking about?

I hope you trip when you walk
I hope a bird poops on you
I hope you leave your wallet in the taxi
I hope you accidentally click like on a sexy photo
So I hope you kick your blankets all night

Let’s see how well you live
I’m gonna be watching you
Screw you, you jerk
I hope you regret this later

You said the only woman around you
Is your mom
And you say all the girls around you
Are like family
Why are you lying?
You make me think otherwise
But then you say you have a girlfriend
What in the world are you talking about?

I hope you trip when you walk
I hope a bird poops on you
I hope you leave your wallet in the taxi
I hope you accidentally click like on a sexy photo
So I hope you kick your blankets all night

Everyone else is so good at it
But why is it so hard for me?
Why is everyone doing this to me?
What did I do so wrong?

I hope you fall backwards, I hope your nose breaks
I hope you’re chased all night in your dreams
I hope you meet someone like you
I hope you kick your blankets all night

Let’s see how well you live
I’m gonna be watching you
Screw you, you jerk
I hope you regret this later