[Intro: Sam the Snowman]
I've got 99 problems but a bi-Oh, hello there!
Well I guess you're back for another story, huh?
This one happened not too long ago, you probably haven't heard about it
It happened sometime after Rudolph became famous
As with a lot of child stars, he had a tough time dealing with it
You see, his parents were managing him, there was the whole-Well, let's just take a look

[Verse: Rudolph]
(Ho, ho, ho!)
Santa made me go to rehab, he said, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Yes, I've been bad, yes, I done crashed, (Ho, ho, ho!)
I'd rather be home with my dough
But you kicked me out, I got nowhere to go
Santa made me go to rehab, he said, "Ho, ho, ho!"
I dropped my scat on Frosty's back and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
The other reindeer wouldn't let me play in their games
That's why I started puffin' paint
Santa made me go to rehab, he said, "Ho, ho, ho!"
I cleaned myself up and now I'm back (Ho, ho, ho!)

[Outro: Rudolph, Clarice, Hermey & Bumble]
Rudolph, Clarice & Hermey: Merry Christmas!
Bumble: (growls) Happy New Year!