[Verse 1]
Two sad people walk down the street
''Where we gonna sit down?'' ''Where we gonna eat?''
Two sad people don't have much to say
Just ''How are you doing?'' or ''How was your day?''

No more sad, sad, sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad, glad, happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one

Two sad people don't let each other down
You can't get much lower when you're on the ground
Two sad people don't fuss or fight
Just a ''Roll over honey.'' and ''Turn off the light.''

[Chorus]
No more sad, sad, sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad, glad, happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one

[Verse 2]
One sad person might cause a fuss
Say something stupid and mess it all up
Two sad people, that's a special thing
They're both blind from the shine of the wedding ring
Two sad people don't need to rush
There's no need to hurry, nothing to discuss
Two sad people, they can take their sweet time
And just creep on up to that finish line

No more sad, sad, sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad, glad, happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one