[STUYVESANT]
When a military man is at the height of his career
And marching his battalion off to wars
He's fought numerous engagements for his country far and near
In serving his apprenticeship to Mars
And he naturally accumulates some decorative scars
In serving his apprenticeship to Mars

[ENSEMBLE]
And he naturally accumulates some decorative scars
In serving his apprenticeship to Mars

[STUYVESANT]
Now a melting maiden's marriage is the height of her career
And unless she is particularly stupid
She's met many a charming fellow yet has kept her consciеnce clear
In serving hеr apprenticeship to Cupid
And she naturally accumulates some decorative scars
In winning these preliminary wars

[ENSEMBLE]
And she naturally accumulates experimental scars
In winning these preliminary wars

[STUYVESANT]
When a soldier takes a maiden and a maiden takes a man
In free exchange of philogenic blisses
Let both of them remember as a part of nature's plan
It's practice that makes perfect in our kisses
Lovely Venus marries with her lord and master Mars
They mutually profit by their scars
[ENSEMBLE]
When lovely Venus marries with her lord and master Mars
They mutually profit by their scars

[MAN, spoken]
What happened?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Has he busted out of jail again?

[BROM, spoken]
The Indians burned down the jail! Drunken Indians. We're all dead men. Run for your lives!

[TINA, spoken]
Brom, wait for me!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
We've been betrayed. Run for your lives!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Rally the grand army!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Rally it yourself. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
You blockheaded sons of a degenerate race! File into the blockhouse then. At least defend ourselves. In the blockhouse, all! You too, Brom Broeck. You apostle of panic, you runner-away from Indians. 
[BROM, spoken]
Me?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Yes, you! Get inside with the others! You can at least handle a musket!

[BROM, spoken]
You're giving me an order? You're ordering me not to fight the Indians?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
I am! Get inside, and fast!

[BROM, spoken]
You tin-pot military man! Get inside yourself. I'm going after those Indians!

[TINA, spoken]
Brom! Brom, come back!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Ha ha, you've seen the last of him! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[TINA, spoken]
Oh, he's knocked the chief down. Oh, what a fighter. What a man in battle!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Hey, let us go to his assistance. Does anyone follow me? Members of the city council?
[COUNCIL, spoken variously]
No. No. No. No. No. No. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Faint hearts! Then I go alone!

[CROWD cheers.]

[CORLEAR, spoken]
Oyez! Oyez! I, the town crier, report the battle. Stuyvesant is entering the fray. Two Dutchmen now fighting ten Indians. 

[CROWD cheers. Trumpet fanfare.]

The Governor's down. Stuyvesant's fallen. Now Brom's down. 

[TINA, spoken]
They're killing him! I can look no more!

[Trumpet fanfare.]

[CORLEAR, spoken]
Oyez! Oyez! Brom got up again! He got up and he looks bigger as a giant. Wham! Now he starts once more! Smash! Oh, what a good one! He saves the Governor! The Governor fights again! We win!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Make the announcement!

[Trumpet fanfare.]

[CORLEAR, spoken]
Oyez! Oyez! Stuyvesant and Brom, the winners!

[CROWD cheers.]

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Well, young man, much as I dislike to admit it, you have, have saved my life, and your disobedience has saved the honor of the city. I cannot pardon you, naturally. You will have to stand trial for impertinent disregard of a military order. But you have earned the right to make a speech. 

[CROWD, spoken]
Speech, speech!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Make a place for him. And may I remind you that in addresses of this character, a certain regard for the feelings of the existing government is customary. 

[BROM, spoken]
Um, I, I confess I had certain illusions about the existing government when it first arrived. But today as I sat in jail, I saw a tribe of Indians purchasing firearms and firewater from the ship. The implements of war with which they carried out this last attack were sold to the Indians by Governor Stuyvesant. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Citizens, let me call your attention to the fact that this man is already under indictment, and that he makes an unsupported charge against my administration!

[BROM, spoken]
Gentlemen, this Governor Stuyvesant is obviously a tyrant, but we thought at least he was honest!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Take it easy, my friend. We can get together on this. 

[BROM, spoken]
Last, last night in jail I, I got thinking about that ridiculous council of ours you shoved into the background when you came in. You said it was stupid, and it was. It was, it was so inefficient and witless that we could get away with a little fun now and then. I guess, well, I guess no government is perfect. But our old government had immense advantages of being incompetent and clumsy in corruption. Now, your tyranny's another matter—

[MAN, spoken]
Treason! This is treason!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 

[BROM, spoken]
I say—

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Let him continue. 

[BROM, spoken]
I say, I say his tyranny's another matter. It's efficiently vicious and efficiently corrupt! Let's throw out this professional and get back to the rotation of amateurs! Let's keep the government small and funny, and maybe it'll give us less discipline and more entertainment. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
It sounds as if you are trying to erect your private and personal disease into a public policy. The same city won't hold the both of us. Jailer, the rope, and this time under the left ear. I shall never forget how cleverly you tricked the poor old council. But out-think me! Ha ha! Try your witty stratagems on old Pieter Stuyvesant and see how far you get with that! 

[BROM, spoken]
W-w-w-will you give me a minute to think?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
I'll give you three seconds. One, two, three. That's that. Corlear, make the announcement. 

[Trumpet fanfare.]

[CORLEAR, spoken]
Oyez! Oyez! The final hanging of Brom Broeck! Brom Broeck will absolutely be hanged!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Mynheer Tienhoven, the council will have the honor of hoisting this rascal into eternity. Range yourselves along the rope!

[TINA, spoken]
I want to kiss him goodbye. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
If she wishes to demean herself, let her kiss him. 

[BROM, spoken]
Goodbye Tina. I'd like to say one word to the council. Gentlemen, I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn't take orders. But now I know that it was a virtue, and one you'd better all learn if you want to live!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Cut that speech short. Cut it short. 

[BROM, spoken]
I'm sentenced for saying that your government was better than his. And now if you don't want him to hang you all, one by one, you'll thrown down that rope and speak up to him!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Take in the slack. Up with him. No hesitation. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
We better, we better pull! Come on!

[BROM, spoken]
Does he do your thinking for you, or have you minds of your own?

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
No, we wouldn't pull. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
What?

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
We wouldn't pull! My name's Roosevelt and when I get idea it sticks. We wouldn't pull!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
If it comes to open rebellion the arms are on my side. Soldiers, get ready to fire on the crowd. Will you hang that man or not?

[COUNCIL & CROWD, spoken]
No!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Soldier, get ready to fire!

[IRVING, spoken]
Uh, excuse me. I must have a word with you, Governor Stuyvesant. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Yes, and who are you?

[IRVING, spoken]
I'm Washington Irving, the author. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Hang all authors and hang all meddlers! Stay out of this and let me govern my people in my own way!

[IRVING, spoken]
But the bloody step you contemplate, sir, is one you would not wish posterity to witness. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Posterity? Where is this posterity?

[IRVING, spoken]
Out beyond the circle of the earth, Governor. In a million homes, posterity sits listening, waiting for your decision. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
They're listening? That many of them? And you say they'll, uh, they'll think well of me if I don't hang Brom?

[IRVING, spoken]
That's right. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
It's worth having. A man doesn't live forever, and he lies a long time in his vault. I'll make a little re-adjustment with the council, and Brom shall not hang. Brom, you shall marry your Tina, and may you raise up a generation of descendants that won't take orders. If that's what they want for Americans that's what they'll get, and let the governments to come worry about it. 

[IRVING, spoken]
Very handsomely said.