[BROM, spoken]
But I was trying to make myself stay away so my curse wouldn't light on you too. But it was no use. 

(sung)
I've been hunting through woods
I've been fishing over water
For one certain girl
Who's a certain father's daughter
I've been following trails
I've been staring after ships
For a certain pair of eyes
And a certain pair of lips
Yes, I've looked everywhere
You can look without wings
And I found a great variety
Of interesting things

But it never was you
It never was anywhere you!
An occasional sunset reminded me
Or a flower growing high on a tulip tree
Or onе red star hung low in the west
Or a hеartbreak call from the meadowlark's nest
Made me think for a moment: "Maybe it's true
I've found her in the star, in the call, in the blue!"
But it never was you
It never was anywhere you
Anywhere, anywhere you
(spoken)
Tina, couldn't you leave your father's house and marry me, even without his consent? We both feel the same way. Why can't we?

[TINA, spoken]
Oh, my father has arranged for me to marry someone else and, and he won't tell me who it is. But let's not think about that. Let's just hope that something will happen. And don't stay away so long again, because—

(sung)
I've been running through rains
And the winds that follow after
For one certain face
And an unforgotten laughter
I've been following signs
I've been searching through the lands
For a certain pair of arms
And a certain pair of hands
Yes, I tried a kiss here
And I tried a kiss there
For when you're out in company
The boys and girls will pair

But it never was you
It never was anywhere you!
An occasional sunset reminded me
Or a flower growing high on a tulip tree
Or one red star hung low in the west
Or a heartbreak call from the meadowlark's nest
Made me think for a moment: "Maybe it's true
I found him in the star, in the call, in the blue"
[BROM & TINA]
But it never was you
It never was anywhere you
Anywhere, anywhere you

[TINA, spoken]
Look out, Brom! Here comes my father. He shouldn't see you talking to me. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Tina, to who was you talking?

[TINA, spoken]
I'm talking to Brom, father. He's sorry he hit you over the head, and I want to marry him. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Quit talking to him!

[TINA, spoken]
But why shouldn't I talk to him, and why shouldn't I marry him?

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
I got plenty troubles, with the new Governor coming, and nobody to hang, and right in the middle you should want to marry Brom Broeck who hit me in the head. 

[TINA, spoken]
Well, I can't see why in the world you should have to hang somebody, even if it is a holiday! I'd like it much better if somebody got married, and I think the new Governor might like it better too. 
[BROM, spoken]
Well, why not, Mynheer Tienhoven? Tina and I are in love. Give us your blessing, and I'll promise to make you a good son-in-law. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Heh heh. Council, follow me this way, under the trees. We got secrets. 

What did we say was the punishment for hitting me on the head?

[VAN CORTLANDT, JR., spoken]
We didn't say. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Couldn't be hanging?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
No, no, that couldn't be hanging. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
What was the punishment for running away from apprenticeship?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Maybe a year in jail. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Altogether, the two of them, it makes a hanging?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
No, no. Hardly could be. Almost. Maybe. 

[TIENHOVEN, sopken]
What kind of crimes is it comes up to hanging?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
I got it here. One. Taking away people's money. Two. Killing people. Indians you can kill, but not people. Three. Stealing a sheep. Four. Stealing a cow. Five. Stealing two pigs. One pig is not hanging, two pigs is. Six. Kissing with Indians. 

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
What? Is that hanging?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Kissing with Indians. Ja, that's hanging. 

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
I, I didn't know that. Speak a little quieter. Maybe somebody listens. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
That nobody gets hanged for, don't worry. Kissing's at night, and witnesses there couldn't be. 

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
That's good. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Now, seven. Selling brandy or firearms to Indians. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
What? Is, is that hanging?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Ja, hanging. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Pass on, and don't say it quite so loud. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
One more. Making accusations against the council. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Only nobody made any accusations, so that's no good. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
No good. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
I guess maybe the best is put him in jail 'til we find a law could be hanging for him. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Marshal Schermerhorn, you will arrest him. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Only don't give him no orders. I know that son-of-a-gun. He's dangerous. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
I'm the one who could give him orders. Brom Broeck!

[BROM, spoken]
Yes, sir. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
You was going to jail. 

[BROM, spoken]
Oh, I was, was I? When?

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
Now. Today. At once. 

[BROM, spoken]
Do I hear you order me, positively, to go to jail?

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
Mmm hmm. Will you go to jail, please?

[BROM, spoken]
That's no order, so why should I obey you?

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
A fellow couldn't go to jail, even when it's got a hole in it? And additionally, we got nobody to hang on Hanging Day for the new Governor. 

[BROM, spoken]
Oh. What you want most of all is a man to hang for the celebration?

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
That's it. 

[BROM, spoken]
If I find you a man who is undoubtedly guilty of a hanging offense, uh, will you hang him?

[ROOSEVELT, spoken]
I think so. Sure. Who is this man's name?

[BROM, spoken]
His name? Well, a few moments ago I heard it explained that selling brandy and firearms to the Indians was a hanging matter. Now when I was in Mynheer Tienhoven's employ, every member of the council was constantly selling brandy and firearms to the Indians. And every one of the council members shared in the profits, so they're all guilty! It appears, therefore, that they are the logical candidate for today's holiday hanging. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
It's not true, none of it's true about Indians. 

[BROM, spoken]
Everybody knows it's true, of course. That's the reason for all the attacks the Indians have made on us in the last five years. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Just a minute, just a minute! Making accusations against the council is a hanging business. Seems to me somebody made accusations against the council here!

[DE VRIES, spoken]
That's right. 

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
Then, by golly, now we got him. 

[VAN RENSSELAER, spoken]
Bring in a verdict. It's a motion. Everybody say aye, quick!

[THE COUNCIL, spoken]
Aye!

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
Carried! A verdict!

[TINA, spoken]
Father! No, father, you can't hang the man I love!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
He was going to hang us, wasn't he?

[TINA, spoken]
But you were guilty!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Not legally, we wasn't. 

[TINA, spoken]
And he's innocent!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Not legally, he's not. 

[TINA, spoken]
But it's not justice!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Nobody said it was justice. We said it was legal. 

[TINA, spoken]
But what are laws for, if not for justice?

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
I'll tell you that some other time, not now. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
Should we string him up?

[COUNCIL, spoken]
Ja!

[BROM, spoken]
Wait, wait, not so hasty. 

[VAN CORTLANDT, JR., spoken]
We can't wait, the Governor's coming!

[BROM, spoken]
You mean that you're going to hang me?

[COUNCIL, spoken]
Ja!

[BROM, spoken]
But wait. One last request, if there's time. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
What is it?

[BROM, spoken]
I beg and pray that you'll use the old-fashioned way of hanging, with the noose around the neck. The modern methods may be more effective as punishment, but I don't wish my agonies prolonged. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
Hmm? What is this modern method?

[BROM, spoken]
Hanging by the belly is now the proper mode of capital punishment. Partly because the prisoner takes longer dying, which adds to the merriment of the crowd, and partly because he suffers more pain, which assists in deterring crime. 

[DE VRIES, spoken]
What's that?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
A new way of hanging—squeezing around the stomach. 

[VAN RENSSELAER, spoken]
He likes it?

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
No, he don't like it. 

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
Well, if it's a good way, I guess maybe we should use it. 

[BROM, spoken]
Oh, no, no, no, gentlemen! Anything but that! Oh, I never should have mentioned it. 

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
If it hurts more, und it lasts longer, I guess that's what we do. Alright, we put the rope around here now, right around your tummy, und you see how you like that!

[Trumpet fanfare.]

[CORLEAR, spoken]
Oyez! Oyez! Governor Stuyvesant is now entering the city of New Amsterdam!

[SCHERMERHORN, spoken]
Should we hang now, or wait for the Governor?

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
Here's comes the Governor in his carriage. We pull him right up in the Governor's eye!

[Trumpet fanfare.]

[COUNCIL, spoken]
One, two, three (Pull, all together)

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray for the Governor!

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
Welcome to New Amsterdam, your excellency. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Gentlemen of the council! Citizens and friends! This is a most touching performance. I— But what, in the name of heaven, do you think you are doing with that man?

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
We are hanging him on Hanging Day in honor of the new Governor. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
And why is the rope around his circumference and not around his neck?

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
Isn't it the new style in Europe to hang by the belly now, because it hurts more? Huh?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
My good friends, I don't know where you picked up this highly original notion, but it's erroneous. When you want to hang, you hang to kill. Ha! This would merely make an enemy of a man. 

[DE PEYSTER, spoken]
He said it was the new way!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Oh, he— Oh, you, hanging up there. This was your idea?

[BROM, spoken]
That's right, sir. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Ha ha! Then I have great admiration for you, and I pardon you. Let him down. A young man who saves his own life so neatly should be worth saving. Moreover, there are to be no executions on this day of deliverance and rejoicing!

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Any little unpleasantness of that sort will go over until tomorrow. From now on, citizens of New Amsterdam, you will have to do with a different and, let us hope, less stupid form of government. 

[VANDERBILT, spoken]
You said we was stupid?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
I should doubt that ever, in the history of the world, there has been a more preposterous, muddle-headed, asinine, crooked, double-dealing, vicious, venal, fat-headed group of men in charge of a nation's destiny! Hello, Tienhoven. People of New Amsterdam, I come to save you from them, and I did just in time. 

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
From this date forth the council has no function except the voting of those wise and just laws which you and I find that we need. From this date forth all taxes are abolished!

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Except for those at present in effect and a very few others which you and I may find necessary for the accomplishment of our desired reforms. From this date forth every man should be guaranteed enough to live on—

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
—Unless it is my personal opinion that he is not worthy to live. And lastly, there shall be no coercion used by the government toward any man, woman or child—

[CROWD, spoken]
Hooray!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
—Except on my personal order or the order of officers delegated by myself. In other words, citizens, you may safely put yourselves in my hands. If I have one drawback as governor, and to be honest with you I must mention it, it is only that I am absolutely insistent upon having my own way. Do not, I beg of you, make me your enemy, for I am utterly implacable. I have a long arm, a sharp eye and a good nose, and I bear grudges. The one man I cannot tolerate is the man who cannot take orders. Citizens, are you with me?

[CROWD, spoken]
Every one of us!

[BROM, spoken]
Hey, wait a minute. 

[TINA, spoken]
Brom, hush. 

[CROWD, spoken]
To the last man!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Thank you, thank you. I thought so, and I'm grateful. And now— but I mentioned my nose a moment ago, and perhaps I should explain. My nose is excellent, but, uh, peculiar. When there is opposition in my neighborhood I can smell it instantly. *Sniff* Ah. *Sniff* And I smell it now. 

[TINA, spoken]
Oh, your excellency, from the maidens of New Amsterdam, this bouquet of American roses. Just smell 'em!

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Well, uh, uh, thank you. Uh. Oh, Tienhoven. 

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
You called?

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
This, this girl, is it possible that it is your—

[TIENHOVEN, spoken]
My daughter Tina, yes. 

[STUYVESANT, spoken]
Charming, charming. Couldn't have made a better choice for a wife myself. Well, perhaps this time my nose was wrong. For my sake and yours, I hope so. Nothing gives me more pain than the violence which I commit when I discover the least breath of opposition to my altruistic policies.