[LIZA]
Jenny made her mind up when she was three
She herself was going to trim the Christmas tree
Christmas Eve she lit the candles, tossed the tapers away
Little Jenny was an orphan on Christmas Day
Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find
She lost one dad and mother
A sister and a brother
But she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up when she was twelve
That into foreign languages she would delve
But at seventeen to Vassar it was quite a blow
That in twenty-seven languages she couldn't say no
Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find
To Jenny I'm beholden
Her heart was big and golden
But she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up at twenty-two
To get herself a husband was the thing to do
She got herself all dolled up in her satins and furs
And she got herself a husband, but he wasn't hers
Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find
Deserved a bed of roses
But history discloses
That she would make up her mind
Jenny made her mind up at fifty-one
She would write her memoirs before she was done
The very day her book was published, history relates
There were wives who shot their husbands in some thirty-three states

Jenny made her mind up at seventy-five
She would live to be the oldest woman alive
But gin and rum and destiny play funny tricks
And poor Jenny kicked the bucket at seventy-six

Jenny points a moral
With which you cannot quarrel
Makes a lot of common sense
Jenny and her saga
Prove that you are gaga
If you don't keep sitting on the fence
Jenny and her story
Point the way to glory
To all man- and womankind
Anyone with vision
Comes to this decision
Don't make up
You shouldn't make up
You mustn't make up
Oh, never make up
Don't make up your mind!