[Intro]
Uh-huh
Extra cheese
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Save a piece for me

[Verse 1]
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame, no one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin' all this
Go to waste", so then I faced

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Pizza all day and every day
This cheese round the clock is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care for irregular-
Ity, tell me

[Chorus 1]
Why'd you have to go and make me so
Constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do
Anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain, oh
Should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No, no, no
[Verse 2]
I was feelin' pretty down
'Til my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in
Every way, I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissin' her so
Tenderly but woe is me

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Who woulda guessed her family crest
I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun, it's just like the one
On me, tell me

[Chorus 2]
How was I supposed to know we were both
Related? Believe me, if I
Knew she was my cousin, we never woulda
Dated, what to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes and
Move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

[Post-Chorus]
No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) Ooh
[Verse 3]
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller-
Coaster ride and the guide

[Pre-Chorus 3]
Said not to stand but that's a demand
That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet
And stood up instead and knocked off my head
You see, tell me

[Chorus 3]
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a
Major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now
Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore, can't
Spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh, no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
(Yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya
Life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No, no, no