[Verse 1]
Man, I don't even know anymore
What life has in store
They give me some, but I always want more
Stupid plans are like planes
Cause' I'm always on board
Always fucking up, never sucking up, always letting down
Everyone that loves me, every time I come around
It's hard to tell the real people from those who pretend
These days I have got more shoes then I have real friends
I walk up in the party tardy, acting like I'm Ari Gold
Spitting that Atari game, always talking on the phone
Always an embarrassment, that's just how the story goes
Look into her starry eyes, do I say I'm sorry? NO
Excuse me (cough) for making you feel under-dressed
Excuse me (cough) if I act a little unimpressed
Because usually I'm not under this much stress
There is a few things I need to get off my chest
Y'all don't like my attitude, maybe that's just too bad
Never talk to me again, you should probably do that
I love you, the only problem is I don't know how to prove that
You wanted a Birkin, but all you got was this douche-bag

[Verse 2]
I have been trouble being monogamous, monogamies, monotonous
So I'm at AA meetings, assholes anonymous
Everyone around is just pointing out the obvious
Talking about our problems, like well actually accomplish it
Hi my name is david and they think I'm crazy
Because i've only been talking only about myself as of lately
I think they are right but I'm just doing what I have to do
Let's talk about me, enough about you
My girl is bodiest, she is also the naughtiest
I've got an audience just from walking in the room
Thoughts are the foggiest, roads are the rockiest
I need a lobbyist because I don't know what else to do
Hey there
Won't you tell me
I'm so down now
Won't you help me?
Lord Jesus, I need a miracle, she is almost hysterical
Crying on the steering wheel, turning up the stereo
With a mix of Larry David and Ari Gold, here we go
Steal the microphone and make a toast like
"To all the people we have let down
May you be granted one wish
To all the people we have offended
Our asses you may kiss
If you can't take a joke
Maybe you can take a dick
Ignorance is overrated
But Arrogance is bliss."

Lets take these motherfuckers to Broadway
Everyone around me says I have problems
But I don't know how I am going to solve them
I will try to make it right but let me be myself tonight