[Verse 1]
Well it was on this Monday morning and the day be calm and fine
To the Harbour Grace excursion with the boys to have a time
And just before the sailor took the gangway from the pier
I saw some fella haul me wife aboard as a volunteer

[Chorus]
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"

[Verse 2]
We had full three hundred souls aboard, oh what a splendid sight!
Dressed all in regimental to make our spirits bright
And meself being in the double, when a funny things they'd say
They choke themselves from laughing when they'd see us in the bay

[Chorus]
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"

[Verse 3]
Me wife she got no better, she turned a sickly green
I fed her cake and candy, fat pork and kerosene
Castor Oil and sugar of candy, I rubbed pure oil on her face
And I said she'll be a dandy when we reaches Harbour Grace!
[Chorus]
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"

[Verse 4]
My wife she got no better, my wife me darling dear
The screeches from her gob you could hear in Carbonear
I tried every place in Harbour Grace
Tried every store and shop
To get her something for a cure or take her to the hop

[Chorus]
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"

[Verse 5]
She died below the brandies as we were coming back
We buried her in the ocean, wrapped up in a Union Jack
So now I am a single man, in search of a pretty face
And the woman that says she'll have me, I'm off for Harbour Grace!

[Chorus]
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"