[Verse 1]
My mama called and told me "Son we gotta talk
There's a lot of things you sing about that worry me a lot
Because the life of a gay man son, it's not any easy life
It's a life that's filled with judgment and a lot of lonely nights"
I said "Mom I go to church, mom I always pray
Just because I think some guy is cute don't make me gay
Just 'cause I can recognize that certain guys are hot
Mom, it doesn't make me gay" she said "It doesn't make you not"

[Chorus]
Mom I'm not gay just because I think Chris Hemsworth's hot
I'm not gay just because I'd like to kiss the Rock
Mom, I'm not gay just because I'd rather be a top
Mom I'm not gay, but if I was would you still love me?

[Verse 2]
My mama took my hand and said, "Son, come with me
It's about that time we go and test your sexuality"
She took me to the gay bar, 'twas the gayest bar around
It as filled with all the hottest homosexuals in town
An Asian man walked up to me and asked if I'd like to bang
He put his hands up on my shoulders but I didn't feel a thing
I told him "Sorry we cannot be lovers, only friends"
And then my mama asked me "You're not into Asian men?"
[Chorus]
No I'm not gay just because I think Chris Hemsworth's hot
I'm not gay just because I'd like to kiss the Rock
Mom, I'm not gay just because I'd rather be a top
Mom I'm not gay, but if I was would you still love me?

[Verse 3]
And then that Asian man he took me by the balls
And he jerked me off the best I've ever had
And then that Asian man he sucked my penis dry
While my mama showed me pictures of my dad
And then Megan Fox came walking through the door
And it made my mama weak in both her knees
Then Megan Fox she grabbed my mama by the hair
And they started making out in front of me
It was the hottest thing I've seen

And she said
[Ending]
Son I'm not gay just 'cause I think Megan Fox is hot
Son, I'm not gay just because we're making out a lot
Son, I'm not gay, (but mom I think you are) son, no I'm not
Son I'm not gay, but if I was would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
I'm sorry you're gay
Mom I promise I'm not gay (Son I promise you you're gay)
Mom I promise I'm not gay (Son I promise you you're gay)
Mom I promise I'm not gay (Son I promise you you're gay)
Mom I promise I'm not gay
Okay mom, I guess I'm gay