(spoken)
All right girls, come on
Move it along
Don’t dilly-dally
Men are waiting

Gentlemen!

Come on in, right on in
To our temple of sin
The sensual and, sublime
With multiple versions
Of every perversion
And women of every kind
If you're a fellow
Who likes a bordello
With something odd for a change
Two dollars more
You can have a dead whore
We specialize in the strange

If you get lucky this evening
And one takes you up for a whirl
Might I suggest you look under the dress
Cause we can't tell the boys from the girls here!
Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
What a curious sight!
Our female selection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!

There's an Asian albino
And as far as I know
She has a prosthetic eye
And if you approve it
She'll gladly remove it
If you tire of her thighs

Don't be alarmed
By the girl with no arms
She's actually quite a treat
And if you wanna
She'll peel your banana
She's bloody good with her feet!

If you get lucky this evening
And one takes you up for a spin
Might be suggestin'
A lamby intestine
You don't know where these girls have been!
Oh! Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
It's a curious sight!
Our female selection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!

They called you pretty
In your hometown
Not to be petty
But here in the city
You're not all that pretty
You're lucky we keep you around!

Now get back to work!

Come on in to the cathouse!
We've got pussies of every kind!
We have black, white and yellow and red ones!
And only one or two are feline!
I'm your benevolent MC
And I'm here to make sure they behave
Sure, they smell like cheese
And they're full of disease
But just think of the money you'll save!
Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
It's a curious sight!
Our female collection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!

At the Cathouse Tragedy!

(spoken)
All right girls, come on, move it along
I don't want to be here anymore than you
Ahh, I should've been a dentist