[Dr. Octagon Intro: Sample]
"I would have been completely dead had it not been for the Shark Man
Shark Man? *chuckling*
Judging from his appearance, that's the most appropriate name I could come up with for him
I hate this kid
This—uh—thing you're talking about
It had the body of a shark, and the arms and face of a man?
That's the chap
Holy jumping jackfish!"

[Dr. Octagonecologyst Intro: Mr. Gerbik]
*moaning and growling*
Yes—you have met the dangerous 20-year-old uncle of Dr. Octagon
I, myself— Mr. Gerbik: half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator
Carrying a dead walrus
Ooh, check it

[Verse 1: Mr. Gerbik]
With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow
Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac
My skin turn orange and green in the limousine
People think I'm mixed with shark, drinking gasoline
Underwater I breathe with lizards on my sleeve
Walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a credit card
Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard
Transvestites, and people watch space parasites
I left his head in the store, legs in the street
Body on Wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet
LAPD through gray clouds couldn't see me
I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow
People got scared and ranned away they think I'm weird
I was born this way, halfsharkalligator
Is he weird?
[Chorus: Mr. Gerbik]
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"

[Verse 2: Mr. Gerbik]
My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm
Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms
Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra
My mechanism is more than Dionne's psychic voodoo
African bees, snakeskin's cobra spit through you my medical passes
You can't see, with 3D glasses
Carbon dioxide, pull it right through 'em with gases
My description dinosaur
I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades
Seven-oh-seven, Mr. Gerbik
Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals fly from Philly
My appetites more big it's time for wildebeests
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic turtles
And shrimps, smack gorillas make 'em limp
Half-shark-alligator-man

[Chorus: Mr. Gerbik]
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
[Verse 3: Mr. Gerbik]
In my raw world, orangutangs dance for Thanksgiving
With skeleton bones and skunk tails is my mission
Holding backward raps to all my power packs
Baboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack
With two bowls of ocean water, monkeys sniffin' ice
Contact Jupiter fools Martians bring my rice
I'm out flyin' with purple capes in the twilight
Oooh ooh ooh, tonight's the night
My oxygen region's New York to California
Half-shark-alligator-half-man!

[Outro: PBS "Nature"]
The water is deep, and it takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through the water plants while dragging a two hundred and fifty pound sambar... The crocodile's teeth are designed to seize and hold prey, not to cut through skin. During all the hours the sambar lay in the water they are unable to penetrate the deer's tough hide. The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the end give up without the struggle