[Skit: Woman + Dr. Octagon]
Can you at least look the other way?
Ms. Willis—I am a physician. Besides—we are all girls. Okay, up on the table—chop, chop. On all fours. That's it, oooh, yeah. Now spread 'em. Ohhhh, what have we got here? Oh, mmmmm. Looks like your vehicular canal is somewhat constricted. How do you manage to accommodate large penises?
I don't—not of any kind. 
Oh, of course. I was just feeling you out, as it were, haha. Spread 'em!
Ugh—
C'mon—wider, wider. Wider. 
I'm gonna break. 
C'mon—wider, you can do it wider, can't you? Come on, okay. Now—I want you to practice this exercise, twice a day, for at least ten minutes: put one finger in, stir it around—and around—and around—and then another finger, and stir it around—and around—and around—and around—and another finger, and another—you get the picture, right?
Yes. 
And then, when you run out of fingers, move on to vegetables. The appropriate size and shape, of course. In no time at all, we'll have you up to summer squash! Admit it; you'll like having something fun wiggling around inside you, like a—caterpillar. 
Eww
Okay—like an eel. 
Ewwww!
Okay—like a cock. 

[Outro: Samples]