[Round 1: Oshea]
Oshea beat Kid Twist
Kid Twist AKA Shuffle-T's big sis'
Fuck being opponents, how I have missed this
So T is Rowan, kiss kiss
But Don't Flop been goin' for 7 years strong
Strength for strength, I'm so thanks, I've caught flanks, I've made some special friends
But my style got stale quick, I needed a fresher pen
So I bought this, $9.50
$9.50!
That's 10 to 10
The day I start rappin' like that
Is the day Liv Wynter starts having sex with men
Fuck that bull tits, I'm in a different zone
You've been rockin' skinny jeans since skinny jeans were called women's clothes
He don't like it over here, he misses home
Canada, where the most vicious gang is Charron
Now, trying to school this one like I'm teachin' immigrants
You look like Big T if Big T looked COMPLETELY different
I'ma beat this simpleton, his defeat is imminent
Shit'll be like a scene from Wimbledon if you're turning Serena Williams
Yeah, I've got multis, I can multi task
I'll pop your mother's gas light, bubble wrap
That tall skinny blond Canadian slut, lovin' that
And if she tells you different she's a lying (lion) HOE! Thundercat
What Oshea 'bout, ancient Egypt
Keep your mommy (mummy) under wraps
And by the way, star jump, what the fuck's a jumping jack?
Who the fuck, is fucking Jack?
Well listen, forget that fuckin' Jack
This next line is without doubt, in battle rap terms
The most vicious, sickest angle
Forget Jefferson Price having his life dismantled
This is a bigger scandal
This shit's straight flicker and flame; Christmas candle
I hope Kid Twist...twist his ankle
Strain that shit ya prick
These URL cats are like are like "he's gone too far"
But stop your bickerin', it's proper sickenin'
Don't make me Jonny Wilkinson this, just fucking rob him
[?] aaah I fucked that up
Kid Twist ya skinny bellon
You have not got an idea
You the type of guy to leave his car parked in the car park with Spanish IKEA
Listen, you may be taller than me, but you haven't got a big plan
What you have got, is a pterodactyl's wing span
Listen, no one in this building can fathom the stupidity of this man
He said to me, "Is chicken a terrorist?"
I said "No, is lamb (Islam)?"
It's a joke, it's a joke
Clever wordplay, 7th Birthday
Gun from me he'll reach for the stars like I just reference heresy
Listen, I break both your arms, leave ya helpless, send for the care
I'll inbox Organik and tell him you've been overly friendly with Eurgh
I wanna slap the SHIT outta every one of you fags from Canada
Bound to get slapped out of the whip, quicker than Bagnall's camera
But I'm runnin' out of breath and it ain't a lack of stamina
It's cause the verse is over
[Round 1: Kid Twist]
You paid $9.50 for that pen?
Man, you better take it and go and write
It's a perfect metaphor
'Cause whatever you got paid by Rowan Faife, your pen's insanely overpriced
Everything I know about your country comes from Guy Ritchie action flicks
And based on Oshea, I'd say they were pretty accurate
Yo, but from what I've seen in the London streets
British people have lovely teeth
And you gave me the guy with an overbite and gum disease
C'mon, you're just tryin' to fuck with me
This is my first overseas battle
I feel like I gotta win
But I'm in Britain now, I gotta figure out how to talk to them
Bulletz did those football bars and the whole crowd rocked with him
So yo, the thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
It's Oshea
You chose a rap name that rhymes with "so gay"
But his sex life is like a bull fight if you seen the chicks O lay (ole)
Kaiser Soze! Coldplay! Cobain! O.J!
Those were choose your own punchlines, you can fill them in your own way
I thought I'd do some research, you know, watch all the old battles Osh' had
So I hit YouTube - 92 battles...fuck it, close tab
In that many rounds, anyone can drop a little heat
So you got some dope shit, but that's just the Laws of Probability!
Yo, you used to be the best at what you do
There's a new player in the game though
You're a white American racist
Word is your job been taken by a Pedro
But if you can't beat 'em, join 'em
So now they both are facin' some Oakland natives
Eurgh's the worst kind of boss
You know you're trainin' your own replacement
But shouts to Eurgh man
I gotta give you big ups and homage
Props again on your World Dom' 5 shit bruv, you rocked it
I know you guys hated that Eurgh impression and thought Diz' was obnoxious
But you should've seen his Oshea impression later when he passed out in his own piss, blood and vomit
I'd joke about your teeth swallowin' your chin
But that's a hopeless struggle
Cause when you swallow one chin the next one below it doubles
You say you choke your wife like at home there's trouble
But you're the nicest man who spits
So why is your persona like your body type?
A giant bag of shit
This match is light compared to Shuffle
I'm more lucid and skilled than you
The hardest part is that I have to look at YOU when I'm killing you
And your looks plainly disgust me
Cause you know you're disgracefully ugly when they would rather make Shotty Horroh the face of the country
[Round 2: Oshea]
Listen
No lies, I'll admit
When I got offered Kid Twist I was pretty surprised
Cause I'm not what I used to be
So I was expecting Cojay or Heretik of one of those guys
I don't mean no disrespect to none of those guys
[?] dropping in more ways than one like Malaysian Airlines
But fuck you, you and you and anybody else in the fucking building that thinks that you winning
You [?] with Shuffle T look like loose women
You can't even hi-5 this guy cause you'll end up bruising him
Cause he's so bitch made that you dueling him
But fuck the jokes
I've got that KOTD wordplay that'll leave your block shambled like Jenga
Kid Twist is a bender
That's it
Listen, fuck you think I'm gonna hit you with a Pikachu scheme?
I keep it black and white like a Beetlejuice scene
I couldn't wait to get to Toronto, I would finally be eating poutine
But imagine my dismay as I took my table to sit
Ordered Canada's favorite dish
Five minute later, I found out the shadiest shit
Waitress comes out to me and Deffinition with a plate of gravy and chips
FRAUDS!
You're such a tall skinny blond bitch I'm considering trying to have sex with you
And fuck the Toronto Blue Jays we've got Big Jay dressed in blue
Yeah, I'm a professional, every bar I drop, humdinger, old school
[?] these bitches shouldn't rap, mudslinger
You'll get that double L on cam', that's George Ringer
And ice hockey is fucking shit
Don't think for one second I'm hating
But if you're good at ice hockey you have to be good at ice skating
Yeah, I said that line to Rich five years ago, World Domination 2
And since then, the world's population grew
Hockey dominates the news and ice hockey is still fucking shit
No wonder, you Canadians are the world's gayest bredrens
Cause you're like, "We'll fight...right after skating lessons"
How the fuck do these players argue?
They're like, "Listen! Don't go there!"
"I don't care!"
"Keep on talking like that and you're gonna make me gliiiiide on over there!"
Listen, Dancing On Ice is your country's national sport
Listen, yes homo, no pauses...I'd rather watch faggot porn
Listen, I'ma kill a Canadian inside the ministry
Whether it's you, Charron, Bulletz, I will fire willingly
The difference between me and you, is you're a liability
[?] talk yourself out of any situation, I am lie ability
Listen, I'd rather die of dysentery or iron deficiency
Then be a Canadian click click boom turn his dome to a stadium
Aye, even the frogs want me, their country like "tray bien"
Tell Bulletz after gun talk, Canada is Arcadium
But I'ma end my verse on this
Respect
Cause even though this man's a bit skitz
I be damned if he be a snitch
He'll go to jail for his dawgs, he's Calcium Kid Twist
[Round 2: Kid Twist]
Yo, this man said to be good at hockey you have to be good at ice skating
Well to be good at SOCCER, you have to be good at dive taking
Yeah, cause we're in London
Where they say shit like, "bruv", "slew" "blood"
You called me "bender" but where I'm from, a Bender would fuck you up!
You act like you barely put effort in
But really, you write your rounds with intricate plans
Hunched over your laptop, concentrating
Fossi brings the meal she fix for her man
You yell at her to "fuck off"
She runs off drying and drops the dish from her hands
Then you come apologizing like, "I'm so sorry it's just...
You know I've been stressed...trying to write this verse...about fisting his nan"
Yo, does anyone out here watch American Horror Story?
Okay, okay, just trust me
You look exactly like Pepper from American Horror Story
And the shit you bring now will compare to your former glory
Cause all you do is fucking weird angles like a terrible porno orgy
Still you fight for your style's relevance, you're a true crusader
You're like a reclusive waiter, the way you refuse to cater
But yo, you don't have to cater to evolve
These days you wouldn't even wash Callum
And we only check for your shit cause of nostalgia like Nas albums
So fuck this pugnacious, pug faced, putty chin, liver [?]
If you were a Power Ranger you would let the fucking Puttys win
And your dick jokes are trash
So I don't think the name of your weak group is fair
Cause if you go to the Dick Limerick Academy then you're a D student there
And most of your hook ups, money changes hands when sex ends
So when I talk about your Horatio/whore ratio it's not Hamlet's best friend
Shakespeare bars!
If you catch what he's got antibiotics won't heal ya
Girls trust me, you'd rather drown yourself than let O feel ya/Ophelia
It is damn near cheating the way you pronounce your rounds
Cause in your accent every vowel sounds like every other vowel sound
You made "punch" rhyme with "foot"
You made "Eurgh" rhyme with "there"
You made "spirit" rhyme with "Guinness"
This shit is not fair!
Yo, is Oshea a pedophile?

[Oshea]
Yes

[Kid Twist]
So he's confirming he's a pedophile
It's no longer a little touch and go
So you calling people "kidder" makes us all understandably uncomfortable
At every battle Oshea's in he turns into drinking game
For every line I say he takes a drink
Every line he says he drinks again
You brought booze to make your own intervention liver
I just hope your friend's the driver cause if you blew a breathalyzer it would fucking catch on fire
Plus you're fat, you're on coke, you go on crazy rants and swear at nothing
Shit, if you came to my city you might get elected mayor or something

[Round 3: Oshea]
Listen you fucking cunt
Don't make me kick you in the fucking foot
Listen, I swear don't make me get [?]
[?]

[Kid Twist]
Spirit and Guinness

[Oshea]
Listen, I got nothing but respect for anyone
Who's made Don't Flop whether it's the guys from Air, Cruger, Liam, all the way through to Sonny Bamboo
But can I give people some advice?
If you're not Air, Cruger or Liam don't get no fucking Don't Flop fucking tattoo
Listen, it don't matter how much you've watched Don't Flop in the last two months
Everybody in this room thinks you're a bunch of absolute cunts
Listen, it's nothing personal to the people who've done that
I just keep it the rawest
A tattoo's for life, not just the immediate aftermath of a semi-decent performance
Listen, how come you'se twats with tat's are never a Tony D?
Unanymous or a Matter or Shotty?
It's always a J Short
[?] man who wins in the bookies
And comes out the next day with "Beth 365" tatted on his body
The bigger anything gets, it's a problem
There's a bandwagon but I'm too dangerous on road
I'm like a band riding!
Listen, catch me grand shagging with me pants sagging
While you Canadian maggots say "swag jacking" those Yank faggots
This is England! England!
Where 90% of police call outs are proper born
Where I won't say shit to your face, but I'll diss you the fuck out on the forum
You should fuck KOTD off, come battle for us
You have a choice!
Don't Flop! Where fat [?] like Emily Tilley have a voice!
Yes, his real name is Alex Larsen
And for THAT I have a brilliant rhyme
You sound like someone Aston Villa would sign
Yes, I may have battled about a million times
But it's like I'm riding Transformers the way I'm still in my Prime
I'm a gun totting, gun smoking, gang banging gangsta
You're Kid Twist...ehh
Listen, ever since my son was born all I've done is teach him misdemeanors
I find it hard to believe that even though I'm old and I have different features
You still somehow look like each of the In Betweeners
Flip this

[Round 3: Kid Twist]
Flip this?
If I spelled that backwards it says "sick"
See, a Don't Flop tattoo?
I thought that was something you would cherish
I was gonna moon you half way through this round
But now because of the tat' I'm too embarrassed
You rap about having sex with people's grandparents
Let me make sure I'm understanding this clear
Cause I know there's plenty rappers with dead grandma's in here
So you're saying you want to dig up and fuck a corpse that's been rancid for years
That explains you still trying to have a battle career
Liam used you as a target to practice some free jabs
I guess you are what you smoke, he made you a speed bag
Biggest match and you wrote some trash that you jumbled up and rushed through
The O in "Oshea" stands for "Lunar fucking snuffed you"

[Oshea]
He did

[Kid Twist]
You lost acceptance here quick
You need a fresh career switch
DF is tired of fucking with you, they got the 7 Year Itch
So you rap on any platform cause you know your name is tarnished
You're at so many little league events you should face molestation charges
And when it comes to rappers named Oshea
Ice Cube is the number one without doubt
You saw Oshea Jr in the movie, even he'd give you a run for the belt
Cause you lose battles off the bullshit that comes from your mouth
It's Straight Out of Compton, Oshea is sonning himself
That grill could make the Tooth Fairy collapse into poverty
If you bought gold fronts you'd fucking crash the economy
And you can't pull a robbery
Anyone who sees this man will know
Cause when you wear a stocking cap it still shows off your enamel toe
I've got a question
What happened to you Britain?
This might get awkward and quiet
I mean you used to own half the globe, you were conquering tyrants
But based on last years results of what Scotland decided
These days you can barely hold onto an island
And let's talk about your title holders
Cause your loss to Ton' was something you should've known was coming
Soul proved it
They wanna give the thrown to someone known for punching
Plus awarding a rap title to a skinhead was dense
Funny how you ran the league but couldn't rally for an English defense
Look, once in a while, your shit is vaguely bearable
But you're back here every week with the same material
And you'll probably keep going until the day they bury you
In a grave that says, "Steven Oshea...yeah terrible"