[Round 1: Caustic]
I said I know I got some fans in here right?
And just as many haters
And I got some shit to address from last time I was here
But we'll get into that later
First thing first right?
When I think back on all the illustrious opponents that I've faced
This is the first time I've been disgusted by my opponents fucking face
I don't know what to say
He ain't got nothing to expose
He ain't fucking any hoes, he ain't putting nothing up his nose
He ain't running up on foes getting fucked up at his shows
I mean, the sad part is, you ain't even saying nothing dope
So don't be fooled just cause he showed up with everyone he fucking knows
The only thing unique about you is the structure of your bones
And that hideous space in the middle of your face where nothing fucking grows
I don't know nothing about you
I tried to Google the guy, and Google was like, "Did you mean 'googly eyes'?"
If we had a nuclear fallout right now, you would survive
You look like the fucking Cookie Monster when he's cookie-deprived
I mean, I don't wanna do a whole round of you look like shit
But...you look like shit
Plus you're always trying to pass off your little horrorcore raps as some murderous art
It's like every time you start rehearsing your bars your eyeballs get a little further apart
I mean, I swear to God, that eye must sneak off in the middle of the night
And goes and busts this criminal bullshit that you write
Oh shit that's right
There's something that I forgot to mention that's important
I don't know if you're aware of this but...there's a giant fucking M on your forehead
I mean, you should probably have that checked
I mean, you need a haircut By Any Means Necessary, you Malcolm X
Looks like you walked into the barbershop asking for a falcon's crest
I mean I now you're Mr 13 and everything
But don't you think it's a tad obsessed
That your haircut's shaped like the thirteenth letter of the alphabet?
I mean, that's widow's peak is sadder than hearing actual widow's speak
I can see that shit in plain view from my economy class window seat
I mean this little geek, keep rapping like he's rolling with the nine out
I'm honestly more scared about your hair dawg, you might poke somebody's eyes out
I mean it's easy to see that 13 has some genetic defects
That kinda look like Peter Jackson's special effects
I bet 25 years ago your parents would never have guessed
That your mom was getting an F on her fucking pregnancy test
I'm a man on fire, a motherfucker on a mission
You ain't got 20/20 vision, your eyes are separated by like 20 dozen inches
I mean, making eye contact with you must be fucking uncomfortable for bitches
Cause that eye's so fucking lazy it should get government assistance
[Round 2: Caustic]
You keep dropping all this tough guy shit, like you really on some cool shit
You keep coughing during your rounds, probably cause you're allergic to your own bullshit
People ask me where I've been, let me tell you how I'm living fam'
Been in Japan, feeling saucy: call me Kikkoman
Clip in hand, ready to rob I got a simple plan
Click til I see his heart like Instagram
Home invasion shit bitch, I'll pistol whip your gram's
You think you dope? I'll stick a blade in him like some thin Saran
Kick open your door ready to let the pistol blam
If I see bricks your brains cover The Wall like a Pink Floyd tribute band
I said that's why I don't rock with ya
Cause you a fucking fraud Mr
I'll get your bitch pregnant, jerk off on your mom's picture
See the left hand have him leaning like shots of hard liquor
The right hand put 13 above the ground like it's a fucking bar mitzvah!
I said these are bars, Mr
You don't know real war
Call me superstitious, 13 goes missing like hotel floors
I said your life span's short but my rhymes are time
I said my fo' five loud but my nine is silenced
You just a pussy popping off about a life of violence
I'm a Wrecking Ball, like yo' ass flat like Miley Cyrus
So I don't know why this guy is talking like him and Jeff won't get the same coffin
That's when I turn up to the funeral, then I fucking leg drop him
The goons sent to where you live for constantly name dropping
You're found dead in your crib like the baby from Trainspotting!
So fuck all the lame talking
You keep looking at me with that crooked eye
One hook and I leave your face blacker than Crooked I
Don't even want to look at guy
Your face trolling like Deffinition
Bullets hit your chest, rip 'em up like multiple repetitions
That's why I keep that Glock on my side, bitch! It never misses!
No, I said, my Glock IS my side bitch: that's why it's NEVER MRS
I said you ain't never gonna win this, so why bother, 13?
The way you do my fucking style, feel like I fathered 13
Try to get up in my space, like Apollo 13
And shit'll get Rocky when I fucking Apollo, 13
[Round 3: Caustic]
I said is anybody actually really that sad that we're never gonna see another battle from Thirt' again?
Quit going on about it like he's Alex fucking Ferguson
I mean, Mr 13 retires on his thirteenth battle
Gotta be fucking kidding dawg
That shit was fucking Tweet-worthy at best
We didn't need a fucking thirteen-minute blog!
I mean, we off of that, roger that
Robbing wack rappers in stocking caps
Nobody give a fuck if you retire cause your bars are wack
That's why Caustic's back
To make your bitch swallow my jewels like the dog from Snatch
I said you see me in this bitch
Honestly, Thirt', I don't give a flying fuck if you cheat on your bitch
You might as well go home, sit in the tub and bleed from the wrists
'Cause after this battle, you won't even exist
Leave your fucking body in the woods, see if you get 3G in the sticks bitch
That's right, come back to finish the shit I started
I only came back a year later to beat Price's infant kid retarded
And make sure he never sees the inside of a kindergarten
Y'all looking at me like I'm the worst guy ever
If I was Jeff, I would've aborted the fucking thing in the third trimester!
I only came back to the UK to remind 'em why I'm the life-ender
If he didn't want to get EXPOSED, he should probably cheat on his wife better
And then Soul comes to the rescue!
Throws a punch like a cunt!
If you wanted to help Jeff, fix his wife a salad and shut the fuck up
I mean, fuck this faggot Soul! Dude has no shame!
Throws a punch and dances through the crowd like Soul Train
I say, he don't give a fuck about Jeff, just out for more fame
Next time you need some attention, Jed, try to get it with YOUR name!
Look in the man's face, you can tell I'm a murderer
Soul worse with the hands than the Mandela interpreter
I mean, it ain't nothing to take a punch like, "That's all you got?"
But honestly, kid, you lucky a couple bars is all you got
Fuck this shit, I'm back in this bitch
This is what you get for testing me
You looking at me right now, and on freestyle I say you look half orc, half leprosy
Y'all been writing bars? I've been making memories
This is what I do to faggots like you, turn them into YouTube celebrities!
A legacy that ends with me being everything you'll never be
Don't ever think you're besting me on Don't Flop or any scene
My pen extreme, severing wedding rings and pregnancies
I behead MC's, my machete be smelling like Jeffy P's gelling cream!
So be PROUD you're standing next to me!
You should BOW and pay respects to me!
Any man that mentions me should have to pay collections fees
Me and these fucking battle bars go together like Cherry Coke and Hennessy
So fuck your retirement, bitch!
This is my Hall of Fame acceptance speech!