[Round 1: Soul]
Yo Real Deal is in Dot Mobb...

{Soul swipes his arm as if he's calling time on his own round}

Nah, but seriously though that shit is literally the best
One of those decisions that they "ahhh" instantly regret
Mook like, "Real Deal...Real De- are you kidding with me Rex?"
Like, "Mook I asked him as a joke I didn't think that he'd say yes!"
Battle rap crews are gay enough as it is, but that is not on
You're about as Dot Mobb as Mos Prob
Yeah I still remember when Trevor would roll with Fresco and Rone
Now he's in a crew with Rex and Mook, bet you're incredibly close
I can relate to having a lil' gang so your friendship would grow
Me and my friends had a gang too, when I was seven years old!
Remember when you battled Tony you had that fucking race round
Like Eurgh pushes him cause he's black and he's who they wanna stay crowned
Cause they already got the nerds but wanted thugs in their crowd
They're doing the exact same with you but the other way around!
It's like Trailer Park Boys meets The Wire, it's the fucking worst
So it's funny, the only thing they got in common is their bubbles burst
He hates it when he raps about The Wire and Breaking Bad Cause he grew up without a TV in an RV so it makes him sad
His first car was his house
He had a racist dad wearing plaid, it's Nigerian velvet blades of grass he's trailer trash
When I moved up, I went from a house to a flat
You couldn't move up cause your house is flat
And the bandwagon Damaged like Danity Kane
They living Down In A Hole like Alice In Chains
Yo you ever seen the scheme? It's exactly the same
Except they crack pipes with rocks like Andy Dufresne
Yo they on that hillbilly heroin is the scene they live in
The Oxycontin got 'em nodding like the schemes they spitting
So peep your best Trainspotting bars, we ain't listening
It's Lochgelly not "Lockgelly" we C.H. different
[Round 1: Real Deal]
Everybody on this roster puts you at the top with pen games
Eurgh even up and handed you a belt like he was your karate sensei
Then you battle at King Of The Dot, you do an intro and Don't Flop don't get named?
You the biggest douche since Sausage Fest, I hope to God you get AIDS
You are a Scottish animated bitch, you're Merida the way you fought for Jeff's braid
Swing on me I'll fucking kill you, for the record I'm Dead Serious like that Das EFX tape
Now I'll admit, I believed that hype for a while too until you battled Caustic, that was not your best day
To keep it plain/plane I wasn't on board very long like Westray to Papa Westray
Now, bags, we don't gotta wait
This is Don't Flop? Let's do a Bad Bars episode with shit I heard Jed say
You battled a grown man over six feet and called him a "pip squeak"
To set up this epic punch: "I'll be 52 (B-52) dropping bombs like a blitzkrieg"
Now you prolly think I'ma call out the corniness or the random number and say, "That shit's weak."
No, no, no, y'all are just sleep
You're right...it's deep
Let me explain though, let me explain
We know the main idea, his longevity, he plans to maintain a consistent run
What you didn't know, the average age rappers stop dropping bombs...hold on! hold on!...is 51!
So, for you to be 52?!
Jiminy Crickets for you to be 52, still dropping bombs? The shit my dude
Crazy question; random...what happens at 53?
More bombs?! You're a different breed
He also said, "I'm a Mustang Sally driven advocate for pacifism"
Mustang Sa-? That was different
Mustang Sally driven? No, no I'm familiar with it, Wilson Pickett
Back in '66 it was a massive hit then, yeah it did rhyme but did it actually fit in?
"Advocate for pacifism" why'd you add that shit in?
Hey! That's his writtens
Now, drunk London crowd loved it, they thought that was hitting
So in theory your hardest shit is parlor tricks and I guess that's efficient
But a real writer would've been like, "That is ass. Where is a waste basket that this trash can fit in?"
You didn't have one friend in a battle rap position
To say, "Jed, you have to listen. That is ass" and switch
But you're right, no
You're so "Mustang Sally driven an advocate for pacifism" yep, that's efficient
The only thing I got from your writtens and your kill crop scheme, is you be name dropping
So no matter how hard he speaks to me, it sounds weird to me like Bane talking
I can go hipster, play it by ear with the gauge or rock with the pistols
But I ain't rotten, I know the game Scotland
But you can't pray to St. Andrews so fuck golf
The Mitchell household better be playing possum
I roll up on his emo ass like, "Hey Delilah"
Aim and fire and turn plain white t's to burgundy stained cotton
Your old man tries to make problems, play a brave Scotsman
I'll face shot him, shit'll look like him and Kurt Cobain face swapping
Gun in Miss Mitchell's mouth like, "Mama look now."
I'm Connor McCloud I gotta take the head
If she ain't topping she'll find baby boy dead in the crib like...Trainspotting
[Round 2: Soul]
Yo when you battled B-Magic on Smack you clowned around
Like, "I don't know about the hood" and got some laughs around the crowd
You battled white people for white crowds you're trapping out your house
I spent a couple like, "What the fuck was that Magic round about?"
See he blends into surround it's harder for us to see him
And in different Culture Clubs this is Karma for this Chameleon
You're gangster or you're not, stop switching your bars
Or I'll have R.D. The Chef seeing Michelin stars
But if he wanna throw at a Scottish bloke then maybe just forget that
Before Mr. Weller's substitute is taking on his next class
Fuck the right, save it for the next scrap
For the first time you'll see a Real Deal shaking with the left hand
See Red an X-Man that Cyclops flow
Kick this Yankee off his high horse like tae kwon do
You've got 'em all bored through the middle like Qui Gon's robe
Look, we were meant to battle years ago, his name was more known than mine
But over time my overtime has caught up with his slow decline
I put in work, he fell off, I own this guy I'll dome this guy
I'm not about to let a teacher take away my golden time
But from street rappers to Christian rappers you've been getting zipped up
Just got beat by A. Ward but I'll beat you til you're in one
Told him you're the devil, too rugged to handle
And got tanned cos sin ain't enough of an angle
So get the fuck off your high horse or get bucked from your saddle
The little people hold me down like Gulliver's Travels
So fuck your hype off Smack, come here get your vinyl snapped
I got a cult following like Spinal Tap they get a whole different type of amped
Cause my ink's off the wall like tribal tat
And the writing's on it like The Shining's back and you locked inside with Jack
Like, "Here's Johnny!"
Having him leaving here at first light, crawling out the woods like a termite
You might've beat up Aye Verb, I ain't here for a word fight
I'll turn this poetry slam to Third Degree Burns night
[Round 2: Real Deal]
Soul, you are built like a 12 year old boy
Then I met your girlfriend in Atlanta and was like, "Wow. She's also built like a 12 year old boy."
That bitch don't even have premature newborn handfuls
They titties Soul's been touching, cup size so small they could package it with children's Robitussin
Shit looks like she got bit by a couple of spiders
She trying to make a titty out of a tissue and a padded bra like she's fucking MacGyver
If she walks down the street wearing pink anybody that eyes her starts to slow clap like, "Fuck cancer man, wonderful [?]."
Aye, she's shy and young but no Labeouf
Dig me it ain't Disney when we discussing Holes
It's like The Christmas Story
She's out here, no matter if it's fucking cold she's tonguing poles
Somebody better come support and comfort Soul like custom Scholls
Cause I hear she's a talent; Beatles album
For the record I'd go with a rubber Soul
So you were in a long distance relationship?
Fuck her word man trust what you see instead
You're gonna end up an ex-man (X-Man) cause this Scot(t) spent summers (Sommers) with her
Can't open his eyes and see his girl be fucking with people's head
Let me tell you some truth even though it's not the most popular thing
You think seeing a girl every six months is a relationship? It's not it's a fling
The crowd's like, "Real Deal chill out. Bet Caustic never thought he would swing."
C'mon you saw the tape, you know you got a weak/week left like the plot of The Ring
But fuck your soft jabs cause I heard something about your soft ass
You were originally supposed to battle Arkaic called Eur' and cancelled because your dog passed
Eur' said he picked up the phone, there was a soft cry
And then a sob, a sigh
Somebody screaming in hysterics looking up asking God,"Why?"
Like, "Real Deal that is not right." Listen, I have a soft side
I feel terrible that your dog died but motherfucker you're not five!
You could've made that battle happen originally between Ark' and you
They said you didn't show up cause you heard he was gonna bark on you
He's a fucking house pet homie, what did you expect
Him to come back sounding like Burt Reynolds with a clock 'round his neck?
I mean, did you have to put him out his misery himself?
I can't imagine how many pounds that it costed
You could've put him to sleep for free with your third round against Caustic
What a fucking emo faggot
One minute he's cool like nothing can change my tune or stride
Then you're like, "I think Cee Major might've won" he's back to contemplating suicide
It's a roller coaster called "Jed's Emotions" it's like some gay amusement ride
So I did y'all a favor like, "Oh boy, flip the coin and Buddy gone" like The Day The Music Died

[Round 3: Soul]
You and Fresco always end your bars with "different" that has to change
How the fuck can you both be different when you rap the same?
Yo, but I know what he's thinking, I'm someone he may not beat
So he'll write, "How I Beat The Real Champ" on an A1 sheet
Well this is A1 covers versus A1 beef
Had my Ah Ha moment, jump in the picture like Take On Me
So here's my take on you, see in Grind Time you were raking hits
Went to King Of The Dot, after shady biz made it sink
Tried to get on Smack and they vaulted all his greatest vids
Someone fire shots online that made him split like Agent Smith
Smack and Beasley airing it, saying that he'd take the piss
Left him in the cold so he crawled back to Canadians
His stock dropped to rock bottom, they don't have to pay him shit
This rapper's so salty you'd think he'd be worth his weight in it
So you can fuck around and be on 100,000 leagues
He like a PC game cause he running out of Steam
Now they starved this cunt, got him spitting bars for crumbs
It's David Dickinson, he went from a real deal to a bargain hunt
He was wack for a while, now he's someone that a few feel
I'm acting like a Tory I'm getting rid of the New Deal
Acting like Hitori these blades that are being sniffed cut different
Fuck bitches cause I made it to beat tricks
You get Cyssero Philly flowed, one, two give and go
These Glasgow Kisses won't be underneath the mistletoe
We seen what happened with A. Ward, everything that Christian wrote
Had that teacher lost for words like The DaVinci Code
Cause you ain't been the same now all your former friends departing
Now this ain't something all is head or Hearts in like a cross from Hendrik Larsson
Boy I'm dunzo with Americans you get kicked to the door
And after this, don't come north of England no more
And tell Donald Trump he can't visit the course he paid millions for
I barred the shit out of Real Deal, then have my leader bar the shit out of yours!

[Round 3: Real Deal]
I said I'm Maximus in this arena
He's feeling extra bold like when in Rome I let him Crowe
This time the Scot(t) won't make it, that shit was extra cold
Gladiator, Rome, a Scot wasn't in it but one did direct it though
Ridley Scott, you dig me? Watch
[?] fuck it bro I'll set the tone
As far as my perspective goes? If it's respect, respect is shown
I mean he the Last King Of Scotland and to me he never left the throne
You got a nation on your back? You studied his formula you pathetic ho
Mixed in some diet Pesci flow, look at you, looking sheepish
Hold up, wait (weight), like a dolly that makes you Dolly a genetic clone
Power punches, keep swinging, til something clicks like a metronome
You act like you fly cause the shit is over your head, well we know Jed the drone
Fuck just killing Soul, on my soul I'm killing every soul you've ever known
Base it on the fact I got guns 'round my circle like the Technodrome
All that talking? You Macaulay Culkin
You got a buzz bro, but you Kevin though that makes your fam' McCallister
They take flight and boy here gets left alone to protect his home
It's man to man, you thought your team had it covered like a defensive zone
A ginger bitch, wondering, "Where's The Help?" like Emma Stone
Fuck yo' clan's rep, fam', set and Jed's Scottish pride
I'll bring people through Fife willing to do life and your land gets colonized
Hands get clamped around this man's neck, homicide
You can't play with Trevor, this ain't Grand Theft Auto Five
Hold on, I'm sorry I'm out of pocket cause he battled in Canada
Please Jed, tell us one more time and remind us
You're like the faggot that goes to an amusement park, rides the ride
Then gets the shirt that says he survived it
You only did that so you could come back
And every match with peers you can fucking brag all fucking year to 'em
Y'all remember that old Soul with that warrior's mindset?
It's the same one acting so cavalier's ruined
I built a rap career off of what you spent the last two year doing
Drinking Vladimir until I turn Vladimir Putin
So the fact you have a title is not appealing
Tony vacated it and you won it over some roster filling
The last American you battled didn't end well, you looked suicidal when Caustic kill him
I'm surprised we didn't find the champ hung by his own belt like Robin Williams
To be the champ you gotta beat the champ, that's the adage I've learned
Til Tony made you take a number of all the hungry battlers he's spurned
I'm a fucking gym teacher, it's not impressive as far as having a bachelors is concerned
But I have a title too, Mr. Weller...pussy at least that's one I actually earned