Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, fifty cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom
Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road

Third boxcar, midnight train
Destination... Bangor, Maine
Old worn out clothes and shoes
I don't pay no union dues
I smoke old stogies I have found
Short, but not too big around
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road

I know every engineer on every train
All of their children, and all of their names
And every handout in every town
And every lock that ain't locked
When no one's around

I sing
Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, fifty cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
(If we're lucky folks, he might finish)
I ain't got no cigarettes
I smoke old stogies I have found
Short, but not too big around
(Wait until he finds out he's not sitting down)
I'm a man of means by no means
Queen of the road!
King of the road
King of the road
King of the road
Thankyou very much, thankyou. No I'm not through, I'm just starting Jack! This surprised me too, boy! I ain't even got my shorts on backwards. Drink! Oh this is just a gag, I don't drink anymore. I freeze it now and I eat it like a popsicle. You just remember a drink never hurt nobody at all, just remember the great words of mister Joe E Lewis, he said "you're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on". "How would you know?"

Joe and I were over in my den one morning, swimming, and he mixed himself a peculiar drink. I looked down at him and said "what you drinking down there, Joe?". And he looked down at me, and he said "Scotch and carrot juice". I said "Why?", he said "I get drunk, but I see good". You know I wanna say one thing in all seriousness. I feel sorry for you people who don't drink. Cause when you wake up in the morning, that's as good as you're gonna feel all day!

Well they're all waiting to come on, lets do six or seven more then we'll come right off