[Verse 1]
Everything's on the up with the Tories
The gap between the richies and the poories
The porky pies and fabricated stories
Yes, everything's on the up with the Tories

[Verse 2]
Everything's up the creek with the Blue Boys
They're selling off the NHS to cowboys
They're cutting back on nurses
(But investing it in hearses)
The nitwits and the we-don’t-have-a-clue boys

[Verse 3]
Everything's on the up with the Tories
With unemployed across all categories
There's Johnson, Gove, Patel
(It’s a government from Hell)
And a few more years of Brexit purgatory

[Verse 4]
Everything's on the up with the Righties
Who worship at the feet of Trump Almighty
There's people in the street
Without a bloody crust to eat
But everything's on the up for the Tories
[Bridge]
If you're Eton, Winchester or Harrow
The road to the future, though narrow
Leads, like a well aimed arrow
Right to the bottom of the barrel

We're scraping the bottom of the barrel

[Verse 5]
Everything's on the up with the Tories
Their red-tops farting out more made-up stories
They're proudly on the wrong side of history
But everything's on the up
Everything's on the up
Everything's on the up
With the Tories!