Have you ever had a family or a friend that drove you crazy?
A foe or a neighbor who’s obnoxious, rude or lazy?
The type of guy you’d cross six lanes of traffic to avoid
He’s always got his hand out, he’s wicked unemployed

You can’t ditch him, you can’t lose him, there’s no place you can hide
He’s a bully, he’s a jerk, he’s everything that you despise
But you can’t just tune him out because he’s too loud to ignore
When he shows up at your house, you kill the lights and hit the floor

‘Cause he’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser, which nobody can deny
He’s a first class loser; he’s not my type of guy

His personality’s impervious to reason or suggestion
He can’t take a hint and he overstays his welcome
He’s nobody’s friend, yeah he’s hated by all races
He only cares about himself, he parks in handicapped spaces

‘Cause he’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser; I’ll stab him in the eye
He’s a first class loser; he’s not my type of guy

We’ve all got some loser in us, but it ain’t a full time job
I may be a little difficult, but I’m not a total knob
I wanna hit him, bite him, fight him, punch him, watch him as he falls
I’m gonna trash him, kick him, scratch him, club him, smash him in the balls!
He’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser
He’s a first class loser, which nobody can deny
He’s a first class loser; he’s not my type of guy
He’s a first class loser; he makes me wanna cry
He’s a first class loser
I wouldn’t miss him if he died